Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Squirminator

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Over the past year and a bit I’ve watched my girlfriends in my mothers group bring in their squirmy babies and wondered why on earth anyone would go back there and have another when they're just getting out of the completely dependent stage. Of course, the answer is simple. They’re an adorable, heartwarming and rather rewarding way to spend your time (*coughmoneycough*). Whilst I am quite obviously going for round two right now there are still days when I wonder if it will all come flooding back when Bobbin arrives, or if I'll have to re-learn everything again.

I've never been one to miss the stages as they go by. Whilst I join in on the "he doesn't look like a baby any more" post hair cut cooing, I am yet to actually lament "Oh my baby is growing up!", probably because my practical brain says "Duh, of COURSE he is, that's his JOB!". There are some stages I was rather fond to see the back of (hourly breastfeeding, anyone?) and one in particular tested my patience - the squirm stage. I say stage as if it ends. HAH!

I was not a fan of The Squirminator at all. What is a Squirminator? Think "I'll be (on my) back... then my front... then my side... then hanging from the nearest cupboard" and you'll get the picture.

The way I see it, there are four main options when it comes to drooling, wriggling, whingey Squirminators at change time:

1. Have a supply of gaffa tape* handy at your change table. Make sure to put it over baby’s clothes because getting that sticky residue off skin is a pain. Alternatively use Velcro* - it will be more expensive up front but you’ll get to reuse it.

2. Hire a children's entertainer to stand by the change table to distract the tiny Squirminator. That farm yard mobile they saw four times yesterday just isn't going to cut it today, you need variety. Think fairies, jugglers, pirates and more. But not clowns. That is how phobias are made.

3. Get some Huggies Nappy-Pants so you don’t have to worry about the laying down wriggle – the standing up Squirminator is so much easier to handle and without a change table you don't have to worry about your cherub launching themselves off it while you reach for a wipe.

We used modern cloth nappies for day use and Huggies nappies for night time but as Tricks was toilet training we moved him to Nappy-Pants for a transition period to get him used to the idea of pulling pants up and down. It worked for us because five days in to jocks and he was fully toilet trained and hasn’t looked back. We used them quite late, but they are available from 7kg upwards.

4. Grab a video camera. Look, they’re gonna squirm and it is annoying but chances are they're going to do something adorable and hilarious one of these times so why not film it and submit it to Huggies and win? If you have to put up with it, you may as well be rewarded!

The prizes are amazing - the first 500 people to upload their video receive a pack of Nappy-Pants and each week for nine weeks one entrant will receive a $100 Westfield gift card. But the major prize, the one I will give my left hand for (not the right, it’s my texting hand) is the grand prize, the big kahuna, the wood panelled, steel roofed, PlayCubb Koala Blue Cubby house, delivered and installed in your very own backyard, valued at just under $5000! Related: Tricks and I are available for play dates in said cubby.

And who gets to help decide who wins that awesome cubby? Yours truly! Yep, I'm one of the judges. Because it is about time I judged you and your spawn, right? RIGHT! I'm really looking forward to seeing your gorgeous kiddos do all sorts of hilarious bum shuffling wriggles and from the ones uploaded so far I know it's going to be a bloody tough decision!

For actual information on how to handle your wriggle bum that doesn’t involve gaffa tape or Velcro, you can check out the Huggies website and their tips via the Huggies Facebook page, but for now whip your cameras and get filming and show me ALL TEH CUTE!

*Please don’t do this. I know someone on the internet already did to prove it could be done, so let’s all just take their word for it!

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