Tuesday, August 17, 2010


In life BT (Before Tricky) I was a makeup artist. Well I still am, I'm just on hiatus. But before I focused on makeup I was a slashie. What's a slashie? A slashie is someone who has multiple titles (with a slash in between) because they do lots of things. I was a beauty therapist/makeup artist/masseuse/nail technician/dermal therapist which meant I used to do makeup plus massages, facials, peels, IPL, manicures, acrylic nails and waxing. I really enjoyed the work and (even if I do say so myself) was quite good at it. But I must say, I have pruned more lady gardens than I care to mention. So who would have thought, someone who has actually trained as a nail technician (such a fancy name for someone who files nails or puts on acrylic ones) would actually be afraid to cut their own child's nails? But I was petrified.

It took me three and a half weeks to work up the courage. Like most babies, Tricky was born with quite long, sharp nails so by the three week mark they were claws. Other mums gave me their tips on infant manicuring, saying to do it while they were asleep or feeding so they wouldn't try to move around too much. But at that stage I was still needing two hands to actively hold Tricky when I was feeding him and I was sure he'd wake up if I attacked him with miniature scissors in his sleep.

So I chickened out and got a nail file. Not just any nail file though, a proper 'Black Beauty' file from my nail tech days. It worked! Hurrah! Those deathly sharp talons were filed down to a much more respectable length and I felt super proud. I even announced it to Hubby when he got home from work - he wasn't as impressed as I was.

A week later though, those suckers were back. Are you serious? They grow that fast?! When I stopped and thought about it though, it made sense - the rest of them grows pretty quickly too. The file came out again and did the job but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that in a week they'd be back again. I was going to have to pull out the big guns. I was going to have to use nail clippers.

Even the baby nail clippers seem the size of garden shears next to those tiny little fingers. I did it straight after a feed when he was nice and milk-drunk and am pleased to announce it was a complete SUCCESS! This is what my life has become. Cutting an infant's nails is a high point that deserves being celebrated with streamers, balloons and cake. I got a full two weeks out of that nail trim (that too made me want to high five every person I passed in the street) so there I was, feeling confident for round two of Small Innocent Child Vs Sharp Instrument but alas, the scoreboard did not show 2-0 at the end... I CUT TRICKY!

Screaming? Crying? Wailing? Umm, no. He was so blissed out on the good stuff that he did not notice. And because he didn't notice it meant I didn't notice - that is until I walked back in the room after putting away the nail clippers to find blood streaks all over his little jacket. It looked like something out of a horror movie - how can that much blood come from such a small finger? And if there is that much blood surely the kid that it is coming out of should be letting the entire street know by now?

When Hubby came home I confessed my sin to him and rather than tell me that it was OK, that other people have done it before me and that no permanent damage was done, he instead turned to me with a completely evil grin and said "Aren't you trained in this?"

Have you accidentally injured your child? Who cried more, you or them? Leave a comment below with your story.


  1. i nipped Brodys finger when he was about Trickys age, but he SCREAMED!! his little lip dropped and he cried and cried.. i felt terrible and now its one of the worst jobs.. those little suckers grow fast!

  2. i do it all the time to Josh - he doesn't even flinch!
    When he was younger I dropped him in the bath too! He went under and everything! And when I pulled him back up he just laughed and tried to throw himself under! he thought it was a fun l...ittle game to see his mummy panic!

  3. Don't worry, as the late MJ would say "You are not alone" - I did it to Milly when she was a couple of weeks old after never having nicked Alex once in 2+ years. She never made a peep, which made me feel much worse.

  4. Ive done it! To all mine!! And no not just once each either! Savannah was the only one that screamed though. And your right, there is so much blood for such a wee little finger!! Dont feel bad it is a hard job!Although I have to say when ever I cut my neice's or nephew's I never made them bleed!


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