Wednesday, March 31, 2010

No experience necessary, apply within

Today was my last day of work for a while. I'm going to let my inner feminist come out to play and say that more accurately: Today was my last day of regular paid work for a while. Because we all know that the real job starts soon, being a mother. Yes, the poorly paying, crap hours, do it for love job of a lifetime.

Ellen Page said it best in the movie Juno when telling her boyfriend she was pregnant: “Cos you know... they say pregnancy often leads to... you know... infants” Its not that I'm just figuring this out, I've been aware of how these things work since I was about nine years old, but now its becoming more and more of a real thing as opposed to just a concept which it has been up until now. Assuming that Tricky comes on his due date, which is unlikely considering only a mere 2-5% of babies do, I have eight weeks to prepare. I can handle eight weeks; I can do some painting, decorating, re-painting because I've changed my mind on the colour scheme, and even clean skirting boards in that time if I so choose. But what if the little sucker comes early?

My sister (who I was keeping anonymous but insists on commenting as 'Aunty Penny') attended a farewell party of her work friend, Cass, who was about to have a few weeks off in preparation for the arrival of her bub. There were presents and cake involved, so understandably everyone had fun. But the baby had other plans and decided to come THE VERY NEXT DAY! As a result every time Tricky moves today I look down sternly and say “Not yet, kiddo!” in my best don't-mess-with-me-I'm-your-mum voice. Because we all know that would work.

Even the antenatal classes are still focussing on birth – yes I need to know lots of things about that, but in the scheme of it all, that is going to be a very small part of the whole having a baby adventure. What happens after? I'll have some midwives and nurses for the first few days but then I have to take this small, strange looking creature home and he'll be entirely dependant on me for EVERYTHING! Hubby has never changed a nappy in his life and only recently held a newborn for the first time (looking highly uncomfortable and completely sh*t-scared, I might add). Now the two of us are supposed to keep this thing fed, clean, warm, entertained and alive. When does the training for that start? It surely can't be all 'on the job' can it? This is slightly more important than my high-school job at Kmart and even that came with a three day training course! If you want to get a bit dramatic and go all 'A Current Affair' and 'Today Tonight' on it, this is the future of our country I'm raising and I'm expected to just wing it? Sheesh! No wonder new mums are tired, they spend half of their time caring for the baby and other half wondering if they're doing it right.

When leaving work today I was amazed that each person used the same words – they all wished me luck on the “impending birth”. But whenever I hear the word impending, my head automatically assumes the next word is doom. So that's all I heard all afternoon, “Good luck on the impending doom” followed by a smile and quick hug. Thanks, the doom thing freaked me out but that pathetic awkward squeeze makes everything OK.

How long did you have off work before bub arrived? Did he/she come anywhere near the due date? Leave a comment.


  1. With Kass I finished my 10 week teaching prac by the time I was 33 weeks. So then I had 7 weeks before I had her. (Induced at 40weeks on the dot)

    With Gabe I worked up to 36.5 weeks. I took the last week of school off and then had the school holidays before I had him. (Had him at 39wks 3days)


  2. With both pregancies I worked up to 39 weeks. My eldest was 9 days over (non elective Ceasar) and youngest was born on his due date (elective Ceasar). I knew I had to return to work after 6 months part time so I wanted my full leave. Don't worry bout anything when u bring bubs home, they r pretty much just lumps that sleep 20 hours a day the other 4 are spent sucking on your boobies hehe
    No one ever talks about the first six weeks when you think "what have we done?" but that goes away and it gets so much better after that!

  3. I Planned on working right up till I had four weeks left with Savannah and then got the bloody swine flu at around 7 months. Was so sick I had to call it quits there!! Was never early with any and all were ceaser, 1st was emergency and a few days over and second 2 were elective which are usally booked in 2 weeks early. My guess is you'll change your mind completely about begging Tricky to not come yet in around 6 weeks Because in the last couple of weeks you'll feel your heaviest and biggest,you,ll be so over it and be begging Tricky to get the hell out!!!


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