Friday, January 1, 2010

Baby Naming 101

Without knowing the sex of the baby, Hubby and I are compiling a very long list of possible baby names that changes on an hourly basis. I have visions of our child's crib at the hospital reading “BABY GLOW-LESS” because we still haven't come to a decision.

My problem is I really like the names in the 'top twenty'. The top boys name, Jack, is a lovely name but doesn't really go with our surname so I'll use it as an example. The likelihood of there being at least two or three other Jack's in his school class is high, so he would always be referred to as Jack F or (lets be honest, we're talking about children who are especially skilled at being mean) Smelly Jack or Lanky Jack. Will I burden my child with a Smelly Jack moniker?

As I grew up I was the only one with my name (Glow-less being quite unique), so whilst I didn't have to share it with anyone and be defined by my surname or a trait, I did have trouble with always having to spell my name to people (hyphens make it difficult). It was so hard to get anything with my name on it; sticker books, those little number plates for your bike – I wanted them so much! To this day I still look through the racks of items to see if I'm there, and get a little thrill and the urge to buy it if I find it - the Holy Grail of a personalised pen or toothbrush.

I'm not sure if today's kids are going to find it hard to get their pen's and toothbrushes personalised or not. Maybe the industry will grow with the increasingly weirder names that are coming out? Maybe poor Jack won't get anything with his name on it because all the J's will be Jordan, Jayden, Jackson, Jakson and Jaxson?

It seems today if you're name isn't weird, then you're destined to be a normal, boring person. Parents are naming their children after the rich and famous with the hopes their spawn will follow in it's namesake's Chinese Theatre footprints. And lets not forget the celebrities' poor children, currently assaulted by the “come up with the weirdest sounding name possible that will haunt your child until it's old enough to get it legally changed” trend. Some of my favourite (that is, the worst) of just this past year include:


Sophocles Iraia - Jermaine Clement & Mirandda Manasiadis

Bronx Mowgli - Pete Wentz & Ashlee Simpson

Atlas - James Tupper & Anne Heche

Sparrow James - Joel Madden & Nicole Richie


Petal Blossom Rainbow - Jamie & Jools Oliver

Mars Merkaba - Jay Electronica & Erykah Badu

Seraphina Rose - Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner

Jagger Joseph Blue - Jason Goldberg & Soleil Moon Frye

Mind you, with some of those parents' names, I suppose naming your child something strange might be genetic.


  1. If you called it Jack, his nickname would be Jacko. Which wouldn't be very nice with a last initial like 'F'.

  2. Mark refused to look at baby names until we knew the sex of the baby. Then once we knew he set up a spread sheet where I would put in names I liked and then he would put in names he liked and we could narrow it down to those that we both liked (LOL the beauty of being married to a geek). With Kassandra we only had 3 names to choose from and with Gabriel we only had 5 names to choose from.


  3. for a boy- blake, bronx, hamish or oli

    for a girl- olivia, rosie

  4. Ok coming from someone who has named my children names a little on the obscure side, (Brody & Chace) I'm not under any delusion that my kids will grow up to be some famous movie stars! Hubby and I just really liked the names, hopefully neither will be teased in school I think that maybe traditional names are becoming more and more old fashioned but hey if Jacks still on the top of the list then what would I know! I do know what you mean tho I did have a little chuckle when my cousin named their baby Destiny thinking this kids got no other choice than to become a stripper :P xo Kelly


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