Thursday, June 13, 2013

So this whole birth thing is starting to freak me out

As I move closer and closer to the business end of pregnancy (related: um, how did we get this far this fast?!) I'm becoming a tad anxious about the birthing bit.

I'm not afraid of the actual physical part of birth - billions of women have done this before me (including me once before) and I take comfort from that. I'm not scared of the pain - I've felt it before and whilst I'm not eager to experience those sensations I know they are there for a reason and can be overcome. Plus I get a cute squishy baby at the end.

What I'm actually worried about is giving birth to said squishy cute thing in the car on the side of the freeway. 

When Tricky was born I had a syntocinon drip for a little while (despite letting the medical team know that I didn't want one - but that is a whole other story). I was only on it about ten minutes before Tricky became distressed. It was withdrawn for a few hours and then put back on later at a reduced rate then removed yet again about twenty minutes later because it huuurt.

After it was removed there was some faffing around then I was checked and found to be at 4cm. Then we changed up a gear. To light speed. In the next ten minutes I progressed to 10cm and he was crowning. In case you're wondering, yes that hurts like a mofo. Just under 20 minutes later he was born.

I live half an hour away from the Birth Centre and "everyone" tells me that this labour will be faster. I even have a giant red sticker on my file for "precipitous labour" (aka shoots 'em out quick). 10 minutes of super dilating and 20 minutes of figuring out what was happening and doctors being paged and then pushing a couple times adds up to thirty minutes. Fark.

"Everyone" also says stay home until you're in established labour but I went from bugger all to established to oh look a baby so quickly that staying home until that happens isn't really an option. Perhaps I should have a stack of towels on standby for an unplanned homebirth? Even if I planned a homebirth, if it goes that quick again, unless my midwife lived next door it would be unassisted.

The other thing that scares me, just as much, ironically, is that this time around might be much, much longer and the whole time I'll be thinking "this should be over by now, get me a fucking epidural!!". I'll go to the Birth Centre at the first twinges only to be there for two days with bugger all happening and no one happy for me to leave (including me) because of how quick things progressed last time.

And there is absolutely bugger all I can do about it. I just have to trust my body and keep a towel handy. And boiled water. And nail scissors. Or whatever it is. For a control freak with a body that often falls apart, it is proving to be a bit hard. The meditation CDs are out, the yoga is being done and the calming vibes are being summoned. Um, what else?

Were your births fast or slow?

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