Monday, September 16, 2013
Time is a funny thing. It shifts constantly, from lightning fast one minute to dragging on endlessly the next.
The nights. Those are long. Really long.
I'm so much better at falling asleep these days, but I had forgotten how exhausting being up and feeding every hour or two is. Bobbin has also been partying in the wee hours, right when I've hit that zombie zone, making the night feel even longer still.
But the days are zooming past in a manner that makes me think I've somehow stumbled on to the TARDIS. My to do list is growing as I manage to tick off only the basic tasks like have a shower and get dressed (and some days not even those). Other things, like do my taxes, write some blog posts, reply to emails, fill out Bobbin's baby book and register her with Medicare? Well they keep getting pushed down the line and just aren't happening. And this is with Map Guy being home to help (read: doing all the cooking and cleaning with a Tricky sized shadow).
I have to keep reminding myself that she's only three weeks old today. And that all I'm meant to be doing right now is looking after my kids. That not answering emails right now isn't rude. That asking dinner guests to bring dessert isn't being lazy. That sitting in front of the TV and doing bugger all once both kids are in bed because I'm absolutely shattered after only 4 hours of broken sleep a night, isn't slacking off. It's just life with a newborn. And that's OK.
I wouldn't expect anyone else to get back to their usual routine immediately, so I don't know why I expect it of myself. So I'm giving myself permission to take it easy, to just be with my family and not feel guilty about it. There are only so many hours in a day and this snuggly newborn stage will be over before I know it. I'm going to soak up every possible minute while I can.
Do you give yourself permission to just be? Do you find it hard?