The extremely long DPCON13 wrap post

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For full details please see my disclosure policy

You know what's wrong with Blogging Conferences? They go way too fast and no sooner have you arrived, hugged those you know and managed to figure out who half the other people are that it's time to say goodbye.

I was only able to go this year thanks to my awesome sponsor McCormick Marinade In A Bag. I'm told I should put here that I have my own marinade bag currently in my tummy, but that just makes me think this baby will come out smelling like Honey & Soy chicken. Though I suppose if it has to come out smelling like food, that's a good one.

Day: 1
Mood: Cranky & tired
Hours sleep: 2.5 in previous 48 hours

I arrived in Sydney early Tuesday morning after having had about half an hour of sleep in 15 second head dropping whip-lash bursts on the plane. Each time accompanied by the most attractive snorty snores as I awoke wondering where the hell I was and panicking that I'd drooled on the man sitting next to me. For the record, I didn't, but it came close a few times. Am awesome travel companion. 

Sydney: your traffic is atrocious. Sydney drivers: you see those lines? Stay within them. It leads to much less honking. Tourist drivers/chauffeur/Jo from Chickens and Bees: kudos for not getting me killed, tis much appreciated. Mwah.

After lunching with Zoey from Goodgoogs and Jo the three of us ventured out for a PR meeting that was "within walking distance". At this point I'd like to point out that "walking distance" varies greatly depending on if you're a chick who runs for kilometres every day or a chick with a flaring chronic pain condition (who also happens to be a bit whingey and hasn't slept). PR meetings make me feel important. I'm not, but hey, it's all about how you feeeeeeeeel, right?

Despite the magnificent company, falling asleep during the car ride home and the subsequent two hour nap were a definite highlight of day one, as was my post-dinner bubble bath that I enjoyed while everyone else who'd already arrived at the hotel was in the bar partying. I really know how to rock a child free holiday, don't I?

I fell asleep around 2:30am after Emma from Emma's Brain crocheted me a penis. As you do.

Day 2:
Mood: Emo & tired
Hours sleep: 4

My head was still firmly in WA time so when the clock read 6am, I was really getting up at 3am. My luggage had somehow made its way out of the cupboard over night and plastered itself to my face, directly beneath my eyes.

We headed on over to Curzon Hall/Cinderella's castle and the hugging began. Soon after, the lack of sleep, the hormones and the whole emo thing caught up. I managed to just hold it together when I saw Tiff from My Three Ring Circus, though I do think I heard her neck crack when we hugged so tight. If I'd had time to compose myself from seeing that gorgeous lady, perhaps I wouldn't have burst in to tears to see Fe from Lumsdaine Photography (who I've spoken about previously here). I'm constantly surprised at how close you can become to people you have only met in person a handful of times. It wasn't even 8:30am and I was crying. I wanted to slap myself.

By mid-morning it all caught up and I found myself completely sobbing in the bathroom on the verge of a full blown panic attack. It's hard to describe exactly what was going on but all I can say is that I'm a girl who really likes her sleep and having had less than seven hours in three days makes for one super emo Glow who is prone to tears. I pulled it together as best as I could for the remainder of the day and soaked in as much information as I could (loved the legal panel!) before making a quick exit.

Day 3:
Mood: Nervous & tired
Hours sleep: 6

It's amazing what six hours of solid sleep will do for a gal. I was still exhausted but the melancholy mood that hung over me the day before had gone and was replaced by oh-fuck-I'm going-to-be-on-stage-does-my-hair-look-OK nerves. On a scale of one to brown trousers, I was right at the top.

When it was time, I made my way to the stage and did what any nervous person wearing a Madonna microphone would do: took selfies with Mrs Woog while we Vogued. Our panel was meant to be a light-hearted look at how to deal with negative comments and trolls and I was super chuffed to be amongst some uber bloggers Corrie from Retro Mummy, the afore mentioned Mrs Woog from Woogsworld and Clint from Reservoir Dad... even if he did take a toilet break half way through.

I'm firmly of the opinion that the word troll is overused. People disagreeing with you aren't trolls, its when they bring in personal attacks, particularly under the veil of anonymity, that it becomes a troll comment. We don't all have to like each other, hold hands and sing kumbayah; hell I have very close friends that I disagree with vehemently on certain subjects and some that shit me to tears every now and then (and I've absolutely no doubt that I do the same to them, probably more frequently).

No sooner had it all begun than it was time to make myself purdy for the gala dinner and an impromptu Harlem Shake (which only gets a little bit of me and none of the people who were beside me).

Day 4:
Mood: Content & tired (sensing a theme yet?)
Sleep: 7 hours

If there is one way to start the day that will ensure a lasting good mood, it's snuggly newborn cuddles. Kristie from Hespera's Garden joined us for breakfast and it was all I could do not to run off with little Caelen. Then the whole "holy shit I'm gonna have one of these soon" hit me and I handed him over to Jess from Tattoo Mummy who immediately burst both her ovaries.

The concierge at The Stamford Grand was so lovely when we were checking out and offered to not only get us a private taxi (hello, Mercedes Benz and fabulous driver) but to have us taken to the Sir Stamford in Circular Quay where they'd look after our bags for the remainder of the day while we shopped. Service above and beyond made Zoey, Jess from Essentially Jess and I very happy chickens as we headed off for the best laksa I've ever had and then quiet chats by the Harbour Bridge over chips.

It was a HUGE week and, surprise, I'm still tired. As awesome as it was, I'm so glad to be home.

Once again a massive thank you to my sponsor McCormick Marinade In A Bag - don't forget the BBQ giveaway complete with the full range of Marinade In A Bag and a Weber BBQ is still running. Enter here or head to Coles to buy your own for $2.99 a packet.

What was your favourite DPCON13 memory?

I'm not packing my mother guilt... or am I?

When I go away alone I zoom around going one million miles an hour, cramming as much awesomeness in to a short space of time as is humanly possible, and as awful as it may sound, I don't really miss my boys. I'm just too busy to.

I love my boy more than I can possibly describe and I (generally) enjoy being a stay at home mum to the Trickster...

But I'd be lying to you if the thought of hanging out with adults, uninterrupted sleep and not having to help someone to the toilet didn't excite me to the point of frothing at the mouth. Although depending on how much my friends have to drink, that last one may came up anyway.

I've been to four conferences and two blogging shindigs since the Trickster was born and he's only come to one of them because he was very little (and constantly on the boob) and Map Guy came along too for a bit of a holiday - the other times they've stayed home for some male bonding time. I've left for between one and three nights and it's only at the airport on the way home (or in a bath tub drunk as a skunk - don't ask) that the excitement of the time away fades and the realization that I haven't seen my boys in a while kicks in.

I don't feel guilty for leaving. For taking just a smidge of time to do something for myself. For lumping all the responsibilities on to Map Guy for a few days and having a bit of a holiday with some friends who I only see once every year or two.

As with any conference, I'm a ball of raw nerves and anxiety. But this time you can throw in some freaky strong hormones that have me swinging wildly from a blubbering mess to the Incredible Hulk. This previously reluctant-hugger is more than likely going to be hugging and crying then wanting to punch a cab driver in the throat (I have a thing with cab drivers, it's a long story). I may not have met you before, but I will be all gropey, guaranteed.

I'm now taking bets on just how long I last with the afore mentioned hormones coursing through my veins before I whip out my phone and come over with an attack of the mama guilts over photos of Tricky and MG, wailing to all and sundry that I MISS THEM! I MISS MY BOYS!! I WANNA GO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!

Do you get the mama guilts and miss your babies? Or are you too busy having a break to realize?

Bags of flavour {giveaway from my tasty #DPCON13 sponsor!}

This is a S1 post

For full details please see my disclosure policy

Um, how is it March already?

I'm going to have to give serious thought to this whole DPCON13 thing that is happening next week. OK I lie, I've already been thinking about it - what to wear, namely. I can see the post "how to go to a conference when pregnant and look like a whale" just writing itself.

The whole what to talk about when I get on stage is another story all together, but despite that, I'm so excited. It's practically squee-worthy!

I would not be going to the conference if it wasn't for my awesome sponsor McCormick Marinade In A Bag. Instead I would be sitting at the computer vigilantly following the twitter stream whilst simultaneously trying to avoid it.

McCormick have kindly showered me with Marinade In A Bag, though not literally or I'd be quite gloopy. The Sticky BBQ and Honey & Soy flavours made a much acclaimed appearance at Map Guy's 30th and everyone thought "day-am, girl, those chicken legs were amazeballs" so I batted my eyelashes and pretended it was nothing... because it was nothing. Shove meat in bag, re-seal, leave for 30 minutes, take out, cook. Done! No mess, no fuss, NO DISHES!

To help celebrate the launch of Marinade In A Bag, McCormick are giving you the chance to win the complete range of McCormick Marinade In A Bag, a Cooler Bag, a BBQ mitt, a set of Heat Beads BBQ tools and an awesome Weber® Smokey Joe® portable charcoal barbecue, a miniature version of the famous Weber kettle with fire and rust proof steel bowl and lid, weatherproof handle and rust-proof vents which regulate airflow through the barbecue, ensuring delicious results. They're even going to throw in some Heat Beads for that perfect smokey flavour. All up it's valued at just over $200.

To enter, go here. You can enter daily.

If you can't wait to get your hands on some Marinade In A Bag, it's available nationally through Coles for $2.99 (one 200g bag has enough marinade for up to 1kg of meat). If you don't use it all at once, put it in the freezer after you've taken the meat out and use it again the next time.

If you're attending DPCON13 come and say hi (I'll be the one with the super cute Marinade Man on my shirt). I'm terrible with names and get overwhelmed easily but shove your business card in to my hand or staple it to my forehead. Better yet, tweet me saying "I'm in front of you, moron".

Full terms and conditions are available here.

Call me the Bag Lady

#Sponsored A
for full details see my disclosure statement

In November I put the call out for sponsorship to DPCON13, touting myself as a fabulous Madonna photoshopper, Glowdonna. Sadly, and if I'm honest, quite surprisingly, no companies saw that as a real, bankable talent and no emails offering a partnership were forthcoming.

With the proverbial cabbage moths flying from my inbox (and my bank account), I stepped things up a notch in the form of a fancy pants info-graphic sponsorship proposal. If I can't be Madonna, then at least my proposal could be, cone bra, oversized radio mic and all.

 

And whaddya know, a fabulous company, who I enjoyed working with once before, said they'd sponsor me... on the proviso that I put away my Madonna photoshopping once and for all. It was a tough call, but, sometimes you have to make sacrifices in life.

So you can call me the Bag Lady. Or to be more specific, The McCormick Marinade in a Bag Lady! Hurrah!

I tried the Marinade in a Bag when it first came out and loved it. I was excited to introduce it to my friends on the weekend at a big Australia Day pool party BBQ (at which I would of course have passed off as something I'd whipped up myself) but unfortunately feral toddler Tricky has a contagious condition and we are in isolation. Oh well, more chicken for me!! Silver lining FTW!

There are four great flavours: Honey & Soy, Red Wine & Garlic, Teriyaki and Sticky BBQ and they're available from Coles for just $2.99 each.

My favourite is the Teriyaki and Map Guy loves the Sticky BBQ. Tricky devours them all equally because MEAT, so I really have no clue if my little carnivore has a preference. I love that it's a marinade without the mess and that I don't have to dirty a separate tray to use it (hello, less dishes!), you just open it, chuck in up to 1kg of meat, seal shut and leave it to work it's marinadey magic. Even those allergic to cooking could do it.

McCormick aren't only sharing the lovin' with me, they want you to be involved too, so keep an eye out in the coming months because I'm going to have a fabulous giveaway of lots of yummies!

So a major thank you to McCormick, and I promise from here on out, Glowdonna is no more.

Have you tried Marinade in a Bag? Did you pass it off as your own, too?

Desperately Seeking Sponsorship

Desperately Seeking Susan did big things for Madonna's career so I'm going to take a page out of her book, or classifieds column as the case may be, and do a little desperate seeking myself.

Introducing the new movie (poster) sensation for this summer, Desperately Seeking Sponsorship:

Starring yours truly as the chick who needs to get to Sydney in March for DPCON13. You can call me Glowdonna. And Glowsanna Arquette. That's right, I'm my own side kick. I've cloned myself so that you'll get twice the value for your sponsorship. Or something.

Just imagine, all that talent that went in to photoshopping my face in there could be directed to promoting your brand. If that's not winning, I don't know what is.

I'll be speaking at the conference on how to deal with trolls because apparently getting your name in CLEO will do that. I knew having a troll and getting hate mail would have to have a silver lining! Yay me! So I could be wearing your company logo on stage when I bang on about how someone disagreeing with you does NOT make them a troll. SHEESH! Most overused word ever.

So if you happen to be a company that has a few spare bucks to invest in a social media campaign then I'm your gal. Or gals if you count Glowsanna. Whatever.

This here blog is juuuust about to hit the half a million view mark since I went .com last year. I know it's not much compared to some others, but hey, for a blog with no long term goals or plans and a haphazard posting schedule (what schedule?), I think it's just fine and dandy.

I have a whole fancy pants prospectus that I'm just itching to send out, so if you'd like a copy to see if you and I are a good fit, then hit me up at glowless@wheresmyglow.com. Alternatively cash donations in non sequential unmarked bills can be sent to PO Box 2517 Warwick WA 6024. Just kidding. Maybe.

Wanna sponsor me?