Letter to Tricky - eleven years old

Hey Bigs,

Happy birthday, my gorgeous kiddo.

What a year, hey? I wasn't sure if I was going to write this letter or if I was closing it off after ten years, but here I am. I think this might be it though? Rounding out your last year of primary school with your last letter? Who knows? It will be a hard tradition to give up because I love reading the old ones before writing the new one; adding another chapter to the book of you.

You've been a very independent kid for a few years now; roaming the streets on your bike, getting to and from school yourself a few days a week, and so forth, but the last six months in particular, you've increased this and taken on responsibility of taking Bobbin to and from school a few days a week, while I'm studying. It's been mostly good because, well, you're siblings, and sometimes you ride too fast for her!

I love the little messages you send me from your watch or Messenger Kids. Sometimes we'll talk in just silly emojis, but most of the time you're saying how you love me and think I'm an awesome mum. It makes me feel so good that you think so highly of me. I think the absolute world of you and your poo emojis.

Your black belt grading was rather contentious. You were runner up gradee of the day for your brown, and we knew you could kick butt for your black. You were super nervous though and didn't have that same energy from the last time. But you still did OK, or at least we thought so, until they sat you down. We were all so confused. We couldn't understand why you were being sat down when you were doing OK, and doing better than some others who were still going. I had heaps of video footage and even showing your instructors they did not understand why you'd been sat down. 

It was really hard for you, and the half dozen or so other kids that were also sat down. Your sister graded to brown that day and you did a bloody marvellous job of still celebrating her even though the wind had been knocked out of your sails. There was celebratory dinners booked, and I was so impressed with how you were able to balance your feelings.

All the kids that were sat down were from our dojo, and being graded by another dojo... that seem to be not on the greatest of terms. A bit sus. Even the organisers thought it was an unfair decision and instead of making you wait three months to try again as is the norm, you all were allowed to try again during that week. That's unheard of.

You felt really sick on the day; I thought it was just nerves and sent you along, even though I'd been a bit sick and wasn't well enough to come watch, I still thought it was nerves for you! You did a massive spew during your grading and that's not unheard of so we STILL didn't think it was sickness. But when you were sick as a dog for the next two days we realised you'd just done your black belt grading with gastro. Unbelievable! My ten year old black belt.

You've also started doing the leadership class at the dojo. You were asked to join years ago when they didn't know how old you were, because you would be focused and follow the class really well and they hoped you'd be able to guide others... but you were too young! We forgot about it a bit and then a few months ago we realised that hey, you're old enough now, and finally you stepped in. It's still new for you but you're getting the hang of being an assistant instructor. You like to help the orange and blue belts with their katas the most, and you're getting better at projecting your voice to award badges.

Grade six is an interesting year. You like your teacher, though you miss your teacher from last year terribly. You've got a nice group of friends and when you all get together it's fabulous, fun, and loud. Things are progressing and we're sending off high school applications! You were encouraged to apply for the GATE music school but decided you wanted to go where your friends were going, and since change is really hard for you, I think you made a great decision.

You're still loving trumpet, and we all swelled with pride hearing you sound The Last Post at dawn on Anzac Day on the driveway (those Covid hiccoughs have mostly gone away for our state, but there are a few here and there, and we were all in lockdown over that long weekend). You are still teaching yourself more and more songs on the piano, and have started creating music electronically, too. You have such a gift for hearing something and then playing it! Getting you to practice is not always easy though, mister.

In the last school holidays we got a new furry family member, Alfie. I surprised you with him and though you loved him instantly, it did take a while for you to adjust to having a puppy in the house. You are very protective of Sprocket's memory, and within about 20 minutes of having him home, you and Bobbin introduced him to Sprocky's portrait and ashes, telling tales of his "big brother". You are very cautious to say "best dog right now" not "best dog ever" because you worry about hurting Sprocket's feelings. When Alfie laid in the same spot in the garden that Sprocket loved, you asked me if maybe Sprocket's spirit was there? That maybe Alfie could feel it and was drawn to that spot because of it. I love how your brain is working and you're figuring out your own spiritual path.

You've dropped Muay Thai and taken up skateboarding instead. You spent your own money on a cool board and have been going to a nearby club to learn a few tricks. You were very timid and wouldn't drop in at the skate park; you would stand near the edge for ages, contemplating, weighing up the pros and cons, and then you'd step down, really annoyed with yourself. But after your second lesson you shouted "Hey, mum, watch me drop in" and suddenly you can drop in and do all sorts of things. You don't like some of the tricks though because you watched one kid break their board attempting it and you're convinced the same would happen to yours, so you just flat out refuse to give it a go. Not chancing a broken board that you worked so hard to save for.

You are still obsessed with games and aren't very happy with me that you're only allowed to play them twice a week. What can I say? I'm anti-screen. But you get online and play and chat with your friends; I love that you can use it to connect with the boys from your old school, and the bond you have with them is so strong.

We are still discovering how amazing your brain is and I can't wait to see what's next. You have some challenges ahead of you in the next six to twelve months, my gorgeous boy, but I promise I will be right here, helping you, advocating for you, pushing you along when you need it, and being your soft place to land when you fall.

I love you with every fibre of my being. You're my favourite Tricky ever ;)

Mum x

Letter to Tricky - ten years old

MATE, YOU ARE TEN!

Two whole hands. Though it's been a few years since we've counted in hands, isn't it? You're a tween now and as I look back on photos, it is so hard to believe we have spent an entire DECADE loving you.

The last few months have been very strange. By the time you're reading this you'll probably go "oh yeah, that was the Covid19 year". We isolated early to protect you, your grandparents, and the community. You were sad to leave school as your teacher this year is amazing and has been the first to ever "see" you.

We had three amazing weeks of homeschooling. I genuinely adored it. You became pen pals with your friends down the road, baked, learned all about climate change, did amazing art, AMEB music, and went on socially-distant adventures. You rode your bike, played make believe, read books, did martial arts, and never have I been happier that your Dad and I have strict screen rules. You barely touched a screen (outside of education things like Reading Eggs and Mathletics) the whole time, instead using your marvellous imagination.

Our school holidays were unlike any we've ever had. Instead of going out every day to do an activity, we stayed home. And much to my surprise, you said you like it better. So I am keeping it in mind for next time. After a few more weeks it was time to go back to school... and you didn't want to go. Which was weird because your home teacher was very sweary and a bit shouty and your school teacher (your favourite teacher EVER) is never like that ;) But it was a lot safer now, and, well, after seven weeks with us all crammed together, I was hitting my limit. You and your sister can be annoying as fuck sometimes, either besties or bickering and picking on each other - but that's your job, you're a tween (but seriously, stop picking on your sister).

I hope you remember this strange time fondly. There has been some real shitty moments - being home all the time, in each other's faces has put a strain on everyone, and martial arts online has been VERY hard for you (and me). But there has been so much good. Like secret adventures, camping and bonfires in the backyard, picnics in the park and tying string to a bag and hoisting up presents to your grandparents on their third floor balcony. I really hope you remember Nanna saying she'd throw some chocolate down and us all shouting out no... only for her to do it and it land on the bloody awning below (a nice man got a ladder and rescued it!). 

You have gotten in to body boarding - and it seems like we're at the beach every week now. You used your own money to buy a lime green board, even splurging for quick shipping (are you even my kid?). When you found out one of your besties body boards too, well, it was even more fun then. You are unrecognisable from the kid you were a few years ago. The kid who refused to get water on his face. Who screamed at every hair wash. Now? You're getting in the waves, getting dunked and loving it. A few times you've gotten out of the water and I've asked you "Hey, where did that kid go?" and you positively beam with pride. BEAM.

Your hair is past your shoulders (this week you were proud to have it long enough for a man bun). When people meet you for the first time, most of them call you a girl. "Girls, can you bring your books here" or at Christmas time "Did you want a photo of your girls with Santa?". You've shrugged it off. You and your sister have been raised as feminists and know that gender is displayed in myriad ways, and sometimes people make assumptions.

This time last year I said you were near your brown belt and now you are over half way through and nearing your black belt. You have four tips on your brown and despite this hiccup (the afore mentioned online classes being awful for you), it's likely still on track. Your Muay Thai grading is all over the shop thanks to continual administrative errors, and different people telling us different things – it has thrown you, but as it’s not your main discipline, you’ve been able to move on pretty quickly.

You entered two events in the latest ISKA tournament, coming first in traditional katas (Lull Before The Storm) and second in sparring - it was controversial, quite a few people thought you should have won, but things have fallen in your favour before when it came close to the line and this time it didn't. So we chalked it up as experience and focused on the fact that holy shit, you came second in a field of twelve in your "weakest" area, against a kid who had a good 10kg on you. You nailed that second and deserved your place on that podium.

You were chosen to be a part of the music program at school and selected trumpet, just like your dad. You wanted cello but I didn't want to lug one around - you can do that one later. For Christmas Dad passed his trumpet down to you and it's really cool to have it in the family. I always feel so proud when I hear you play, but dude, I’d love to hear it more. You HAVE to practice, mister! You've taught yourself piano... a friend showed you a piece he'd been learning in his piano classes and you copied him. So, that was, um, interesting. You watch YouTube, learn the pieces you like in a day or two, and commit them to memory. I'm astounded. You have musical genes, but bloody hell, mate.

Your perfectionist tendencies are still there, stronger than ever, and whilst they reflect very positively on your report card (almost straight As except for the C in sport which is hilarious since you're a brown belt), it causes you a great level of anxiety if you mess up. You like things to be right and pick on your sister if she gets things wrong, even though she hasn’t learned what you’ve learned yet. The mantra we say together now is “does it matter?” and you are getting better at thinking whether this grievance actually matters in the moment or if it’s something you can let slide (again, stop fucking picking on your sister - and don't you worry, I say this to her, too). 

Our old boy, Sprocket died in January and it was an incredibly sad time. You were so brave. You patted him and said your goodbyes despite wanting to run away as far and as fast as you could. I was so proud of you for making the choice to stay in the room so he could be surrounded by his favourite people as he took his last breaths. Sprocket was older than you and you didn’t know a world without him in it. You weren’t besties with him like Bobbin, but you loved him, you loved him being around, and you miss him.

I wonder, as you’re looking back on this (are you 18? 19? when you’re reading this?) if you remember your toy giraffe Jeramy (yes, that’s how you spelled it). Jeramy was lost. You were absolutely devastated. You made him years ago at a school holiday bear workshop and had celebrated his birthday every year since. He was the only stuffed toy you ever paid any attention to, and when you realized he was gone we moved heaven and earth to find him. We pulled the house apart. Three times. I emailed local shopping centres and put out the call over Facebook in case anyone had found him. But he couldn’t be found. You wrote him a letter and it was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever read. You hoped he was safe; on an adventure instead of wet or burned or laying in the dirt somewhere. You apologised just in case you had done something to make him leave. You wrote about how he brought you comfort and held your secrets, and signed off saying you were his dad, that you’d always love him and that you’d never give up hope of finding him. You knew he was a toy and yet he was so much more. We still celebrated his birthday with a cake. It was a bittersweet day. After four months of him being gone you asked for a new soft toy and chose a Zebra, because it was the type of animal to hang out with giraffes. You called him Smartie. He sleeps in your bed and has brought you comfort as you’ve transitioned through these periods of grief and isolation stress.

Your resilience, in light of your struggles astounds me. Getting back up after the falls is what true resilience is, and whilst you might see it as being knocked down more than others, I see it as getting back up more than others. Many things are not easy for you, and you keep trying. It’s amazing. You’re fucking brilliant and I’m in awe of you. I know that you will continue to try and I will help you along the way as much as I can.

The next year will no doubt bring just as many highs and lows as this year. You’ll probably be roaming the streets with your mates, zooming around the bump tracks with Dad with your brand new bike (it’s red, it goes faster). Playing Rocket League and asking for more screen time. Kicking your way through the tips and ranks at martial arts. Powering through school and trumpet. Reading like there's no tomorrow and engineering some wild and creative construction with Lego. I am so privileged to be able to watch you grow. My kind, funny, thoughtful, smart, sensitive, sporty, focused, beautiful boy. I love you more than you could ever possibly know.

Mum x

Letter to Tricky - nine years old

Hey Bigs,

Your mama doesn't blog anymore, but the idea of not writing you a birthday letter just did not sit well with me. So here goes.

You are nine. You are so big, and wise, and worldly, and yet, at the same time, you're small, meek, and naive. It has been fascinating watching you navigate this inbetween stage. Giving you more and more independence and watching you navigate the world by yourself. You're not a little kid anymore, but, well, you are, actually.

Martial arts continues to be your passion. You have dedicated so many hours to it, training eight times per week right now, getting each tip on your green belt at the first possible opportunity, and you've now progressed to Grading Prep Group to get you ready for your brown belt grading in September. It's gonna be big, and you're very nervous, but you have the support of us, your instructors and your dojo family. You have started Muay Thai to improve your sparring confidence, and each class you get in there and try so hard, despite being absolutely terrified. We haven't managed a class without tears yet, and I am amazed at how much resolve you have, to keep getting back in there. I think this time next year I'll be writing about how you've started preparing for your black belt.

You entered the ISKA tournament again, participating in three events; extreme weapons, traditional katas, and traditional weapons, taking home a first, first and fourth respectively. You've qualified again for the national championships - we didn't go last year but we'll see what we can do about getting over to Sydney this year since you placed first.

Our house continues to be the place to meet for the kids in the street and each time the doorbell rings I don't even bother getting up because it's almost always for you, and when it's not, it's for your sister. It's a ragtag bunch of kids with different age groups from different schools, but you all seem to get along pretty well; whether you're riding the streets, doing tricks on the ramp in the front yard, or playing computer games.

You are a voracious reader and are zooming through anything Paul Jennings at the moment. You love going to the library with your Dad, but most of the time he ends up picking the books while you play with the retro gaming machines and smart board. You love to play all the Retro Rewind games, Minecraft, Lego City Undercover (against Bobbin), and whatever else the games are called. You even play Race Day against me and you manage to hide your frustration at how bad I am pretty well. The one time I beat you, you were so happy for me. If Bobbin beats you, that's another story. We'll work more on losing this year, bud.

You are doing well at school, being awarded Aussie of the Month by your peers for being a kind and approachable friend, nailing NAPLAN to get in the pointy triangle for most of the sections and band 6 for the other one. You've taken to music with much enthusiasm and have played countless pieces on a tiny electronic keyboard that you got ages ago as part of a science wiring kit. Oh, and let's not forget that fucking recorder. Hot Cross Buns at any time after 8am. I don't want to stifle your musicality or creativity, but sweet jesus I will if you play a loud instrument when I'm barely conscious. Today you were given a big electronic keyboard and your face just lit up. You want piano lessons but you're not willing to give up a martial arts day just yet, so we'll see how we go later in the year after you've graded.

There just isn't enough hours in the day to do all the things you want to do! Skateboarding, scooting, bike riding, martial arts, gaming, drawing, music, LEGO, reading... and let's not forget annoying your sister. That takes dedication, too.

Anxiety can kick your butt sometimes. You are your mother's son, after all. So we have worked hard on growth mindset talk, and I bring in cognitive behavioural therapy tricks at every opportunity - I figure you learning these now can only be a bonus. We sought professional help as I was very worried you'd end up just like me, but they were pretty good at allaying my fears, letting me know that yes, you are a bit or a worrier and a huuuge perfectionist, but that doesn't mean you will go down the same path as me, mental health wise. You have a strong sense of self and a strong connection and trust with me, so you have a much better starting off place than me.

I am trying my hardest to model making mistakes and pushing through the tough times, and I really hope the message gets through that you are enough no matter what you do. We are celebrating your failures more than your successes right now to emphasise the message. "You went to martial arts and cried and got back on the mats even though it was tough? YEAH! WELL DONE!". Of course I'm proud of the times you do great, but I know just how hard it is for you to push through those self doubts, so that is what I'm focusing on. The strength and bravery you show to keep pushing through your doubts and anxieties is truly inspiring.

You are responsible, caring, goofy, resilient, silly, smart, creative, strong, dedicated and amazing. I can't believe how lucky we are to have you in this family. You bring so much joy to my life, and whilst I roll my eyes that I still sit with you for you to go to sleep, I know one day I'll miss you asking for "mum cuddles" every night. I hope I continue to be your safe space and soft place to land.

Love you, bud.

Mum x

Letter to Tricky - Eight Years Old

Oh, my sweet, gorgeous, amazing boy, today you are EIGHT!

It has been an up and down year filled with changes for you, and more often than not, you've faced them head on and come out triumphant on the other side.

This time last year you were a yellow belt about to graduate up to orange. Well you hit orange and in the time that followed you were asked to join the elite training squad, the Black Belt Club. All blue belts get invited to BBC, but only a few orange belts, so you were pretty chuffed to be invited early. You adore BBC - they do all sorts of weapons training and fancy kicks. You have a bo, tonfa and sai now. You also have a nerf gun now because I figured my "no guns in the house" rule was pretty hypocritical if I was giving you actual weapons.

You went up through orange, and though not many people reading this today will understand, when you're bigger you'll know what I mean when I say you "double tipped" to earn your final black tip and red tip in one week, meaning you could graduate to blue belt a bit early. Right now you're trying to do the same thing for green belt. I'm not entirely sure you know just how full on green belt will be, but you have it in your head that green is THE BELT to get. For you it signifies that you're more than just a kid mucking around in the dojo; it's a sport that you take seriously.

Twice you have participated in ISKA tournaments now. The first time you were super nervous and we signed you up so that you could get an idea of what these tournaments were like. In my mind I was thinking you wouldn't do that well and it would be a great lesson in failing - I think kids need to learn how to fail, sue me! It pushed you in ways you'd never been pushed. You loved parts of it and hated other parts (sparring), but from three events you came home with three trophies. So much for learning to fail! Three third places haha! And because it was the first time the event has ever been held in WA, you were technically ranked third in the state for your age.

In your next tournament the competition was much more intense; there were more entrants and you were up against higher ranks (even up against a black belt), and because of when you're born in the year you were in the 8-9 category despite only being 7. You practised so much and came up with a freeform kata that you were SO PROUD of. You nailed it and came home with two third place trophies and a second place trophy. Well done, buddy!

At the beginning of the year you changed schools. I was concerned with how you would cope because you are a shy kid, and, well, I'm your mum and I worry. When we first said you'd move schools you looked unsure until I said one of your martial arts besties, H, was going to be there. Then you were all "seeya old school!". A playdate the day before school with some kids in your year helped, but walking in to class to find you knew a few of them from martial arts put you right at ease. Plus with H there waiting to give you a hug, you settled in within the first week.

Not long after that, we moved house. You LOVE the new house because from the very first day there have been kids in the street playing and you have gone out and played with them - I can't image the you of a year ago just going up and talking to random kids but you do now, and I credit your increase in confidence to martial arts. These days it's a daily occurrence for the door bell to ring and someone ask if you can come and play - to the point where when the doorbell rings I ignore it because it is ALWAYS for you.

You get on your bikes and you're off. The sense of freedom and responsibility you get from it is obvious, and it is becoming apparent that you have your Dad's spatial awareness because you look at a map or go somewhere once and know exactly where you are and how to get places. I did lose you once though because you lost track of time!! I drove the streets (the ones you're allowed to ride to your friends' houses) looking for you and finally found you (thank you, kind neighbour, for huggign me while I cried on your doorstep) almost an hour after you were due home. It was an honest mistake though, and you haven't done it again since.

You want to marry one of your martial arts besties, L. The two of you are peas in a pod; you are both sensitive souls who focus hard on the task at hand. You announced proudly that you would get married but at the ceremony there would be no kiss (because EW GROSS). Instead you'll give each other a thigh kick. I love that you're comfortable in yourself and happy to share with us your hopes and dreams, and my aim in life is to make sure that you always feel this way.

We've had some success in getting you to sleep this year, but it is still a bit of a struggle and most nights you're up two or three times. Your brain is so busy it wakes you up. I wonder if after all the things we've done to get you to sleep that maybe you don't need as much sleep as other people?

Thank you for an amazing year, my bud. You have shown such courage and determination, maturity and resilience in all that you have faced (including having a bit of a crazy mum). You continue to amaze me and inspire me to be a better mum.

I love you to Pluto and back (because the moon is close).

Mama x

If you feel like a trip down memory lane, you can read the each Letter to Tricky here.

Letter to Tricky - seven years old

Hey Dude,

Seven years ago today you made me a mother, and I am so incredibly grateful for that. Here's what has happened with you in the last twelve months (well, the last six, because my memory sucks).

You lost your first tooth! Finally! You were one of the last of your friends to even get a wobble going on, so you were super chuffed when it happened. But then you became really concerned about some random fairy coming in to your room at night. The idea of a tiny person with wings taking your tooth freaked you out, and the notion that she would give you a coin did not ease your worries. 

So I told you that the Tooth Fairy was a thing that parents made up to make their kids brush their teeth, to calm you down. I don't regret telling you that, but then it immediately made you re-question the idea of Santa. For months you'd been asking for explanations on how the big guy in red gets to every house, how he knows who is who, how he knows if you're on holiday etc for months and you weren't satisfied with my "because he's magic" and "the elves help him" explanations. You wanted answers based in physics. 

You turned to me and said "So parents make up Santa, too, right?". I wasn't ready for it, but I told you the truth. That Christmas is magical because we make it magical by being together and loving each other. We both cried. I told you that the job of older kids and adults was to keep the magic alive, and in the months since then you've spoken to your sister about Santa/the Easter Bunny/the Tooth Fairy without skipping a beat, then when she wasn't looking, given me the cheekiest wink. We're in a secret club now, you and me. 

Whilst you enjoyed footy last year, by the end of the season you were very much over it. By chance we saw a display for a local martial arts centre and you wanted to give it a try, and buddy, well, it looks like you found your thing.

You have gone ahead in leaps and bounds. You have gotten so many awards, badges and certificates, because you try SO hard and you're actually pretty damn good at it. Just this week they pulled you aside to test early for your next belt and you flew through. After the ceremony, you'll be an orange belt. Well done!!! But mostly, we can see the incredible difference to your confidence. 

It's not to say there haven't been hiccups in your Zen Do Kai adventures. You absolutely hate some of the warm ups where the instructors are trying to distract you while you have to keep a straight face. It quite often ends in tears before it has even begun because you don't like it when you can't do something. Even when none of the other kids can do it either. You hold yourself to such a high standard even though your dad and I have always said we don't care if you're the best, we only care that you have fun and try. But still you are a perfectionist - and I'm so sorry, because you totally get that from me. 

School continues to be awesome for you, and you have an insatiable desire to learn. Your reading is through the roof, and you are on to novels. The teacher pulled me aside last term to say you are being "extended" now, and I have to tell you, as a child of nerdy parents who signed you up to the library as a baby and have read to you at least three books a day since the day you were born, we were so excited. Just last week you were taken to the other year two class when their teacher was unwell and the children had to read to you! You thought you were hot stuff, and I teared up. Nerd FTW! 

You have a great group of pals there, and it was very hard for you to choose only three to come to your birthday party which will be in a few weeks time. You wanted them all to come, but it's a sleepover and my hard fought for sanity is valuable to me, so I was very firm on the number! It's a gamer sleepover, because you're all about Forza Horizon, Minecraft, Pokemon and all things games. 

Speaking of sleep, you are seeing a paediatric sleep specialist so we can figure out why you don't. Every night it takes you hours to fall asleep, and you wake up multiple times a night and lay awake for hours. I don't know how you function on such little sleep, bud, because I sure don't. We have tried lots of things together to solve this issue; reward charts, co sleeping, not co sleeping, tough love (read: yelling at you), sitting with you until you fall asleep, completely ignoring you, you name it, and nothing has worked. You had a sleep study a few weeks ago, and it was pretty traumatic to be so wired up, but I was so astounded at the way you kept your head still anyway. We'll get the results soon, but in the meantime, you've started on Melatonin with mixed results. So we'll see what happens, and we'll figure it out together. 

You're a lovely kid, Tricks, and I really enjoy seeing the way you're changing and growing up. I love the way you're getting in to singing, writing songs and music. They're usually about love or cars, or the love of cars. Heh. You are either helping your sister and cheering her along or teasing her and correcting her (to which I usually sigh and say "Mate, she's only little, she doesn't know how to spell Koenigsegg yet OK, give her a break". There is no inbetween. Playing 'Danger Devils' nicely or trying to punch her. Asking for two snacks so you can share with her, or dobbing on her for breathing on you wrong. Ahhhh sibling love.

I'm so proud of the clever, funny, confident, caring kiddo you are. Happy birthday, smunchy bum.

Love, Mama x

Letter to Tricky - Six years old

Happy birthday, Buddy!!!

Little dude, you are six years old today. SIX.

You are in year one and loving every minute of it. You're the youngest in your class but have managed to get in the top numeracy and literacy groups. The nerd lyf chose you it seems.

I love all the notes you write and watching you figure out how to spell things is fascinating. Like the time you tried to spell Mercedes and wrote "msady's". Sah cute! You label everything you draw, a trait that means I will keep the label maker away from you or I'm sure to come home to you having labelled the dog.

Boundary pushing and selective listening are two of your favourite hobbies it would seem. I'm told it's normal for your age, but geez where did my lovely, reasonable boy go? You're growing up and asserting your independence, and I do love that, but sometimes I find it hard when getting ready for school takes seventeen reminders, a chart, and threatening to leave without you before you'll put your bloody shoes on. It's OK though, you'll figure it out... won't you?

Scooting at the skate park is high on your list of awesome things to do, and you got a new scooter and helmet this morning so I'm sure we'll be back at the ramps very soon to christen them. You can manage a few jumps and apparently they have cool names but I don't know what they are.

You started Auskick last month and you freakin' LOVE it. I wasn't sure how you'd go because previously you've considered yourself a master at any given sport after two minutes and then refused to play any more. But your team is almost exclusively made up of your school friends, and you all play together really well.

Every day after school you and your mates kick the ball around, and then when we get home you want to practise more, so lately you're out in the yard until it gets chilly, kicking over and over again. You're not what I'd call a natural athlete, but the effort you put in is amazing and you have come so far from not being able to do anything to having a pretty nice kick for a newbie.

You've kicked two points - the first time because you didn't know that the goal was the middle part (oops, my bad) and the second time because there were people in front of the goal and you didn't want to hurt them.

You are still a sweet, sensitive little man and will often tear up in movies, even crying at happy endings because you're so pleased it all worked out. Your level of empathy is astounding and it has helped you understand what has been going on with me lately.

Recently you wrote me a note saying you were glad I was getting my 'joy' back and it was so touching. I've explained my depression to you using Pixar's Inside Out as a starting point and you seem to understand it really well. I let you know that I take medicine to help my brain, the way you take medicine to help your lungs, and I'm hoping being open and age-appropriately honest with you will mean you never stigmatize someone with mental illness or abilities different to your own. I've hidden a lot from you, my boy, but I know you can feel what is going on and I'm so proud of you for how you've handled it.

We went camping for the first time as a family recently and it was so great so we'll be going again soon. You loved it so much and haven't stopped talking about it. You rode your bike from sun up to sun down and pretty much only came back to the tent when you were hungry. You had a massive stack and got blood everywhere which you thought was pretty cool after it had stopped hurting. It was wonderful to see you talking to new people and you declared that making friends was the best bit about the whole trip. There may have been something in my eye after you said it.

You had a disco party last night and you declared it the best party ever. Probably because dancing to loud music with the coloured lights flashing in the darkness at what should be bed time is so out of the norm. You had some lovely friends over and were very lucky to receive some amazingly thoughtful gifts.

It's gonna be another great year, dude, I can feel it. Your confidence is developing so much and I can't wait to see what happens. I promise we'll wag a school afternoon again soon and get up to mischief together.

Love Mum xxx

Letter to Tricky - five years old

Hey Trickster,

Happy birthday, buddy. 

Five years old, hey? Five seems like such a big boy number. It's a WHOLE hand!!! 

You continue to be a pretty awesome kid. You love scooting around the skate park, riding your bike to school (without trainer wheels, I might add!), climbing up the outside of playgrounds, jumping on the trampoline, gardening in the veggie patch, playing drums, building LEGO monuments, getting dirty, anything crafty, reading books, writing, and playing cars.

We can now wash your hair without tears! The whole water phobia appears to be a thing of the past now! You can now have showers and let the water slightly splash your face - this is a huge achievement, dude! You've been swimming a few times now, and your confidence is building so much. The first time you went swimming I was so proud I cried... and took three million photos. 

You are still my sweet, sensitive guy; you need me next to you to fall asleep and you wake up to come in to our bed twice a night. Sometimes I get cranky about it, but then I realize that you won't want me around for much longer, so I tend to snuggle in to you, kiss your cheeks and let you stay for a while before scooting you out and sending you back. I'm a sucker, I know. 

The other day you said I was your best good friend, at the top of your friends list. Not gonna lie, it was lovely to hear. Especially since sometimes I think you'd prefer to live with your Perth grandparents - because they give you treats and let you play iPad. I was surprised that Bobbin wasn't up the top, you and she play together really well about half the time. The other half of the time you're telling her to leave you alone and not move your cars.

You love to teach her. You have taught her to count (somewhat) and you are so encouraging whenever she tries things. When you say "Good job, sweetheart" my heart melts. Actually, you're quick to praise everyone when they try. It's always "Well done, Mum", and "Great try, Dad". So sweet.

School is still brilliantly exciting to you, which I love. You have made some lovely little friends that don't mind that you still take a little bit to warm up, and your teachers are helping you gain confidence.Your teacher says you have the neatest handwriting in class and you like to be the only one to draw a particular picture - so if the others are all doing rabbits for the letter R, you'll do rocket and the like. Because you're a nerd. We love nerds in this family, so power to you, Tricks. 

I'm looking forward to another brilliant year, kiddo. It could be even better if you could try listening when I talk at least some of the time... just an idea. 

Love your guts.

Mama xxx

Letter to Tricky - four years old

Dear Tricky,

Happy birthday, dude!! Four amazing years.

The last twelve months have been full on but fabulous, and you have thrived. Watching you become more and more confident has been remarkable.

So, um, you can read. SHUT THE DOOR. WHAAAT?! Yep, I know. You started sounding out words in some beginner reading books with me last month and you just picked it up straight away. We are all blown away. Of course I filmed you reading for the whole family to see, and they all went nuts, too.

We are pretty sure you have a photographic memory, just like your Dad. You have amazing recall and only recently you described to me, in detail, the birthday cakes I made for your second and third birthdays (you have to wait until Saturday to see this year's!). With this amazing memory you now know the names of most brands of cars you see. You'll walk along in the car park calling out the cars as we pass them. Ford, Hummer, Hyundai, Audi, Mercedes, Holden, BMW, etc. When we got a car recently the sales rep got a few of the others to come and listen to you. You were their little mascot for a while there.

You have a wicked sense of humour. Not all of your jokes make sense (and a majority involve bodily functions), but you think they're hilarious and when you erupt in to giggles the rest of us can't help but laugh along with you.

Bobbin absolutely adores you, and you are so brilliant with her most of the time. You get a bit cranky at her when she tries to eat your cars, but you are getting better and better at sharing with her every day. I love looking over my shoulder in the car to find you holding her hand, making sure she is OK.

I am so proud of how much you have grown in the past six months. You were starting to bloom at the beginning of the year, but now as we hit the half way mark you are well and truly blossoming and your confidence is growing rapidly. You have always preferred the company of adults, but now you are playing with kids, making up games and running around. Recently you went on your first play date without me, stayed at a party by yourself and even went to the IKEA play room - things you would never have done before.

You are a sensitive little dude and most definitely an old soul. Even your teachers have gone out of their way to tell me that. You've definitely been here before and sometimes I think you are teaching me far more than I could ever teach you.

You have inherited my perfectionistic traits, and you hold yourself to extremely high standards. Despite being told continuously that trying is the most important thing, you won't sing the songs at kindy until you know all the words and actions! When you know them though, you don't stop. You burst in to song any where, any time - I love it so much.

I am really enjoying being your mum. I love teaching you, doing craft and answering your questions. You ask a LOT of questions and I'm not always patient with you, but I try. I adore hearing your explanations of the world and I am stunned by how much you know.

I think the next twelve months are going to be just as amazing as the last twelve months. I'm looking forward to watching you grow, and in particular I'm so excited to see you teach Bobbin things. Hopefully not how to hoodwink me, but I understand you guys gotta stick together.

I love you to the moon and back, and then some more.

Mama xxx

P.S. Yep, another montage. You're welcome

A letter to Tricky - on your first day of school

Hey Tricks!

Schoooooooooooooooooool! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

You were beyond excited to be starting kindy today - so much so that getting you to stand still for a photo was almost impossible. You have asked how many sleeps until school starts at least fifteen times a day since December and announced it proudly over the phone to your Aunty Penny and Aunty Steffi when you called them this morning.

We went to an orientation day at the end of last year and you got in there and actually played. A year ago you wouldn't have left my side at all. You were still timid and reserved, not talking to the other kids, but you spoke to the teachers and you played right next to the other kids. When everyone sat on the mat and you followed the instructions it was so cute. When you raised your hand with your finger pointing to the sky I melted in to a giant puddle right there and then. All the cute! But I didn't know how you'd go when I left.

I labeled all your things, including the things it turns out I wasn't meant to label, because I'm a bit in to that sort of thing. Labels these days are just so freakin' cool, miles ahead of the biro on a piece of paper sticky taped to the side. Yours have jungle animals on them and I considered buying a set for myself and just labeling all my things, too. I also contacted your scrap book because contacting rocks my (labeled) socks.

Today you excitedly walked with me to school while your grandparents watched Bobbin. That way I could give you all my attention at such a special time. You were a bit shy but warmed up quickly and jumped straight in to doing jigsaw puzzles. You are a legend at jigsaw puzzles. When it was time for you to sit on the mat to officially start the day you gave me a hug and a kiss, I told you I was proud of you and that I'd be back to pick you up before 3pm. With that you spun around and looked at the teacher... that was it. No tears. No tantrums. No begging for me to stay. Dude, you absolutely rocked it.

When I came to pick you up, there you were sitting on the mat with your bag and hat, ready to go and the biggest smile on your face. You have not stopped talking about all the things you did, the kids you met, the toys you played with and the "racing track - a 'Hot Wheels' racing track, mum" you painted.

I am loving watching you come out of your shell, little guy, and it is so nice that now other people can see you for who you are - a funny, cheeky boy with an answer for everything! I am so proud of you.

Have a great year, mate, I love you.

Mama xxx

Letter to Tricky - the last as an only child

Hey Tricks,

It hasn't been too long since I wrote you a letter, your birthday was only last month after all.



But as we get so close to Bobbin joining our little family I wanted to tell you that even though I'm so, so excited for your new Big Brother status and cannot wait to meet the newbie, I'm starting to get a little sad that our one on one time is coming to an end.

I'm going to miss it being just us two during the day. 

I love our mornings. After your Dad leaves for work you jump in to bed with me and we plan our day in between cuddles, kisses and tickles (and saying how much you miss Dad already).

I love when we have crafternoons! Right now you only want to draw racetracks or use cars to create wheel patterns on the paper with paint or cover cars in playdough... I'm sensing a bit of a theme there.

I love how excited you get when instead of eating lunch at the table the two of us grab a blanket and your teddies and have a picnic down at the park or on the trampoline (or the lounge room floor if it's raining). Then when your Dad comes home you excitedly tell him about how fun it was, like I'm the best Mum in the world.

I know we'll still do those things, and you'll be able to show Bobbin the ropes, but I will miss it... and even though you're pretty chilled out and like to play independently, I think you'll miss it, too.

I'm a bit worried about how I'll be a parent to two when I'm just so used to only focusing on you. I figure everyone else does it and I will get the hang of it, but still, it makes me a little anxious.

One thing I'm not worried about is having enough love for you both. The moment I found out I was pregnant it was like my heart grew so I could fit you both in - and I'm not talking about pumping extra blood, even though I've been doing that too. If my rib cage could have grown at the same time that would have been ace because Mama can hardly breathe any more.

There are big changes just around the corner for all of us, my love. Your 'Big Boy' status, that you remind us of constantly, is going to be cemented when a teeny tiny baby comes home.

We'll figure out how this family of four bizzo works, together.

Love always,

Mama xxx

Letter to Tricky - Three Years Old

My gorgeous Big Boy Tricky,

Oh little man, you are an absolute joy. Even now, three years on I still wonder what I did that was so good to deserve having you in our lives.

I sound like a broken record but you have come so far in the past twelve months and I am simply amazed. You’re no longer considered speech delayed and will quite happily talk in full sentences – in fact getting you to be quiet is now much harder than it ever was to get you to talk. I think you’re a bit of a perfectionist and didn’t want to attempt words until you knew you could say them. Your favourite sayings are “Beauty, Newc!” (aka John Newcombe) and “Watchu talkin’ bout, Willis?”. So yes, it appears you’re in a bit of a time warp.

You managed to practically potty train yourself about four months back. A few people have asked what my secret was, but I don’t think there was one. In fact I don’t think it had anything to do with me or your Dad at all. I think you were just ready and willing… although I’d say the jelly bean bribes and Lightning McQueen jocks did help a little. Add to that the fact that you weaned and you're practically a teenager now. Sorta.

You have the sweetest personality. You’re so caring and watching you develop empathy has been remarkable. Recently in a bout of teariness (at a news item on a rescued puppy I believe – hormones!) you came over and patted my arm, saying “You OK, mum? Need a cuddle?”. I just melted as you wrapped your arms around me.

Because I'm slightly obsessed with it, your manners are amazing. People always comment on them and you've already learned that they help you get what you want! You have the ladies at the fruit shop wrapped around your little finger and every week they give you fruit salad or a mango and you give them a cuddle and say thank you.

Now, don’t get me wrong, you’re no full time angel. You have a stubborn streak and make it very clear when you’re not happy. You have been saying you don’t like me and calling me mean when I ask you to pick up your toys. This breaks my heart a little. Not enough to clean up your toys for you though.

Bath and shower time isn’t very fun at the moment. You have a phobia of water on your face and head – it has been around for a long time but it is getting a bit worse lately. I’m not sure what is going on and I’ve tried so many things to make you feel OK but I’m failing terribly. You get so scared and worked up that I fear the neighbours will one day call the police, certain we’re doing something awful when we’re only washing your hair.

I’m still not a fan of your sleeping habits. I don’t mind co-sleeping, in fact I quite like the cuddles… but you are a pillow hog, a doona kicker-offer-er, a head butter and a kidney kicker. And you never wake up when you do any of those things leaving your dad and I to mutter under our breaths and check to see if our noses are bleeding.

Despite your uncanny ability to aim for my shnoz, I made you another birthday cake. I figured you would have forgotten about last years Fire Engine Cake and I could just buy you one because mama is a bit exhausted... but last month when I mentioned it was almost your birthday you piped up with "Will me get another Fire Engine cake?". Your memory is insane!! So this year you get a race track cake.

Of course the big news is you’re going to be a big brother. Little Bobbin is on the way and will be here before you know it. You hug my belly and say hello to the baby most days though I’m not sure you realize that Bobbin will live here when born… that part is still a work in progress. As is your big boy room to go with your big brother status. You have chosen cars and we are not at all surprised as you’re obsessed with all vehicles and can easily recognize all sorts of different cars and machinery (“It’s not a digger, mum, it’s an ex-avator” and “Look a Land Cruiser!”).

You’re a clever cookie, just like your dad. You can write the alphabet in capitals and last month you wrote your name for the first time. I was so proud and took a photo of it to send to all your grandparents. You spell everything out you see and then pretend you can read – you have a bottle with Star Mart on it and you spell out “S T A R M A R T… drink bottle!”. The first time you did it we’d been eating takeaway from Harry and the Boys – you spelled out every single letter on the box and declared “PIZZA!” as the grand result. I giggle every time.

You’re growing up so fast, lad, and next year you’ll be in kindy, away from home two and a half days a week. I’m pretty sure you’ll crack it and declare you don’t want to go every. single. time. Then go, have the best day ever and then refuse to come home. Just like you do for day care every single Thursday.

Thank you for another amazing year. With you around I think I’m learning just as much about life as you are. You remind me what is important every day: family, love, forgiveness and bed time.

So happy birthday, Tricks, here's your montage (smaller this year thanks to a tech issue!). I chose a jazz song for you since the genre is fast becoming your favourite. 

Love Mama xxx

Letter to Tricky - Two Years Old

Hey Trickster!

How on earth are you two years old already?! I swear it was only a few months ago that I was busy planning your first birthday party, and yet here we are.

Once again, you've put us through the emotional wringer, most recently with four trips to hospital in the past three and a half weeks. You got to have a ride in an ambulance, but once you were stabilized you were very sleepy from having to work so hard to breathe, so you missed most of it. I half wanted to prod you and point out that we were in a "nee naw".

You're doing so well at using your ventolin with your Super Space Man Mask and you take meds like a pro... well you do after initial attempts to turn your head or run away screaming. But once you have it, you drink it up and promptly ask for more... which is both hilarious and disconcerting at the same time.

You've been going to speech therapy because you have a mild language delay. You have so many words that we've lost count, but you just don't say them very often! When you do decide to speak, you'll often whisper a word until you feel more confident with it. Such a perfectionist! What you don't say, you sign, so you can definitely make it known what you're thinking.

One word you definitely don't have a problem with is no. Funny that. Your Perth Nana says "Do you wanna go to rehab?" and you sing "Nooo, nooo, no!". It's so wrong and yet so cute at the same time.

Everything about your physicality makes me smile. The fact that you don't walk any more, you strut (such 'tude!), the way you join in on the dancing at music time, the way you jump and do somersaults on the trampoline... and the way you have a really good sleep afterwards.


I tried to make you a birthday cake. After the success of last year, I realize that every cake from now on has to be bigger and better... so this year you got a Fire Engine Birthday Cake:

I know, I can't quite believe I made it, either.

Thank you for another amazing year, my boy, here's to another one.

Love Mama and Dad xxx

P.S. Here's your obligatory birthday montage:

Tomorrow, to celebrate Tricky's  birthday the OMG I Can't Believe He's Two Mega Giveaway will be launching with over $1000 of prizes, be sure to come have a look and enter!

Postcard to Tricky: From China

Another blog-card from Aunty Penny! Hooray! You can see the last one, from Nepal, here.

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G'day Tricky!

It's your Aunty Travelling Pen here.

I'm in China for two weeks, trying to be a bit adventurous. I started in Beijing, then visited Shanghai, and am now in a smaller city (still 6 million people, or 6 times the population of Perth!) called Nanjing.

Me on the Great Wall of China - looks like Emperor Nasi Goreng did
a great job - no rabbits anywhere!

From what I've seen life here is pretty different. Since you're a kid I'll focus on kid-related stuff, like when I sent you a letter from Nepal, when I visited there last year.

Doin' it for the kids
Couples here are only allowed to have one baby. It's called the One Child Policy and it started in 1978. It's because China's population has been growing so rapidly and the government is worried it won't be able to support and feed lots more people. So most Chinese people don't have brothers and sisters, which is a bit sad, I think. I didn't know before I came here, but there are two possible ways to get around this rule - first one is: if both parents are only children themselves, they may have two children. The second is: they can (well, they have to) pay a fine for having the second child. The fine is 10 times the couple's annual income. Ouch!

This young girl was dancing outside The Forbidden City
and went all shy when she saw me... then put on a show just for me!

Startin' 'em young
Toilet training is really different here! It's common for parents to cut open their toddler's pants so there's a split most of the way along the seam, and they don't put nappies or underwear on them. Then when the kid wants to go to the toilet they just squat down wherever they might be, and their pants open up and they do their business. I reckon it must get a bit breezy.
Consequently though, kids are toilet trained much younger than in Australia. And, apparently if a little boy pees anywhere, even in the middle of a shop or someone's house the owner will be happy and says it's lucky. Girls are not considered lucky. You can imagine how annoyed this makes me!

Are you ready, boots? Start walkin'!
There are hardly any prams or strollers that I've seen here. Probably because the footpaths and roads (while generally pretty good compared to other places I've travelled) are pretty bumpy and not all that well maintained. So littlies are either carried or they walk. Reckon the Hug-a-Bub people should market their product here - these parents' arms must be aching!

They breed their Apple fan boys young

The most dangerous ship in the world
Censorship. It's not always easy for local people to get information here. The government is really strict. So they can't access some internet sites, including really popular ones, like Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. Even many pages of Wikipedia are blocked (like the ones that mention China). Saddest of all is that Chinese people aren't able to view most blogs - that means your ma's blog is inaccessible here! How will all these people across the world learn what parenting in Australia is like without that???

There are so many gorgeous little Chinese outfits that I would LOVE to buy for you, but I'm trying to restrain myself. I'd also love to get a little cheongsam for your friend Boo, Missy Boo's daughter. You'd both look so gorgeous!

I got to visit the pandas! OMG PANDAS!

Missing you lots, and hoping that you don't forget how to say my name while I'm away - keep practicing, 'k?

See you soon

Aunty Travelling Pen
xxx

Letter to Tricky - 18 months old

Dear Tricky,

Hey little man, it's been six long months since I last wrote to you and so much has happened that I should have been keeping notes.

Your Perth Pop reminded me the other day that you've now been alive longer than your Aunty Jo-Anne. In the weeks leading up to this milestone he has spoken about her so much... he has spoken more about her in the last 18 months than he has in the last thirty years. It's sad but I think you have healed him more than anyone can measure - he's a different person now and it's all because of you. Unsurprisingly, he's your favourite person to be around.

Such a big boy

You haven't been for your 18 month assessment yet but I'm pretty sure you'll do fine. You've got about 35 words and nearly 20 signs but you're still not much of a talker - you like to sit and figure out how things work more so than talk. This is probably why you can already solve your Shape-O except for the octagon and hexagon which confuse you (unless you're tired or hungry in which case the whole thing becomes a projectile). And yep, Mama is showing off right now... because of your bumpy beginning it means I'm allowed to once in a while.

You know lots of colours, all your body parts and clothing items and point them out when we ask... and we ask you a lot because it's just so cute to watch. It also means you've become my little slave because I can just ask you to go get your shoes while I'm busy tweeting cooking.

Our first overseas holiday with you was amazing. You were fantastic on the plane and then spent the rest of our holiday being told how gorgeous you are by strangers who would come up and touch your cheeks cooing "Hello baby!". Every second one would ask for your photo and some would even pose for a photo with you - since you don't tend to smile at strangers a lot of people got your big, pouty lips but they didn't seem to mind.

But not too big to fall asleep in Mama's arms

Your hair turned in to ringlets in the humidity of Malaysia and as soon as we touched back down to the dry summer heat of Perth it went mostly straight again. Your Dad is trying to convince me to get your hair cut but I love your hair long. I've already had to de-mullet you and trim your fringe, but I love being able to twiddle my fingers in your hair when you're feeding, and by the way you grab my hand and put it back there when I stop, I think you like it too. Plus, well, you'll look like such a little boy with a hair cut, and I'm holding on to the last strands of babyhood for a while longer if I can.

Time is flying by and it's almost your second Christmas. I'm pretty sure you will scream if we take you to sit on Santa's knee because you're so wary of strangers. Even at Mothers' Group you still take the better part of two hours to warm up and you've seen those kids every week for over a year. You're just my little shy guy... and that's OK. I know you giggle, I know you smile. It makes it all the more precious when you do.

All my love, little man,

Mama xxx

Postcard to Tricky

Aunty Penny arrived home safe and sound from her Nepalese adventure yesterday! She sent Tricky a blog-card (like a postcard but in blog form). And just like all postcards, it arrived after she left Nepal. Enjoy.

___ . . . ___ . . . ___

Namaste Tricky!

It’s your Aunty Penny here, and I’m on a big adventure in Nepal (get your dad, Map Guy, to show you on the map where that is – it’s a long way away).

I came to teach English to kids here, as a volunteer, and for a holiday. The teaching part didn’t really work out like I’d expected. The kids here are way different from at home. There were 50 kids in each of the classes I was teaching with another volunteer at a Government school. 50! When you go to school there’ll only be about 30 in a class. And my goodness, these kids were sooo naughty! They’d run around the class, hit each other and pull each other’s hair, stand on the desks and put their hands in the fan. They copied off each other constantly, so there wasn’t much learning going on. The local teachers didn’t seem to care. And the noise! All the kids screamed and yelled, nearly all the time. It was pretty bad. I didn’t like it. After a while we told the school we wouldn’t be coming anymore – the kids weren’t learning, and we were wasting our time.

So instead I taught a conversational English class every day for blind university students, to help them improve their pronunciation. They loved learning and were very fun and enthusiastic. So that made me feel really good.

But I’ll focus on the kids I’ve met, ‘cause you’re a kid. Man, they are very different here. In many ways good, in some ways bad. There’s lots of playing outside with neighbours, unlike in Australia, and most kids don’t have a TV in their house (which I think is a good thing). It’s such a poor country though, that the kids don’t have many toys or books or clothes, or anything really. I bought stickers with me for the schoolkids and they were crazy about them. The other volunteer bought balloons and one day we blew them up and gave them to the kids that lived in our street. They loved them! They played with them for hours, or until they popped. Kids here really appreciate the things they are given and look after them, because they have so little. That made me a bit sad, but it’s really sweet too. They also make a lot of their own games and toys. Kites are really popular here at the moment. They make them out of bits of plastic bags and things like that. And they’re so good! One day I walked past a little boy who was about 7 and he had a string in his hand. I looked for the kite and it was so far away I could barely see it! It was amazing!

I met a little boy called Shivaraj at a support centre where the mother from the host family I stayed with worked. He had been a child labourer. He was about 8 years old and walked with a limp. My host mother explained to me that Shivaraj had been a dish washer in a restaurant, to support his father who wasn’t able to work, and his mother was gone. One day Shivaraj fell and broke his leg badly and so he couldn’t work anymore. His leg didn’t get properly set at a hospital because he was so poor and the government is so poor too that they can’t give free medical help to people like we get in Australia, so now he will walk with a limp for the rest of his life. But the positive news is that the centre where the host mother works tries to help kids like him, and get him back into school and get help for his family so the kids don’t have to work. Their aim is to stop child labour completely.

A lot of people speak a little bit of English here, and kids have to learn it at school. Speaking English here can help people get better jobs, especially in tourism. One day I was hiking up a steep hill to a lookout with my friends, and I got so hot and tired I decided to go back down after only a quarter of the way. A little boy called Arum (who told me he was 11, but I think maybe he was 9) saw me and invited me in to his neighbour’s shop to buy a drink, and told me that I could get a taxi up to the lookout instead. He spoke good English for his age, and he came with me to find a taxi, and told the taxi driver in Nepali where I wanted to go. Then he got in the car to come with me! He brought along his little friend, who didn’t speak English. All the way up Arum chatted to me and told me interesting things he knew about. At the top of the lookout he pointed out places we could see. When we got back to the bottom of the hill I wanted to check my emails at an internet shop, and asked if Arum and his friend wanted to go on the internet too and I would pay for it, to say thank you for being my ‘little guides’. He looked a bit shy, and said they would like to. So they sat next to me as I checked my emails and they watched YouTube videos of animals. They really liked one of a tarantula vs a centipede (spoiler alert: the centipede doesn’t come off too well). It only cost me 25c for internet for an hour, but it made them really happy.

I’ve got so much more to tell you, and I’m missing you and your mum Glowless and look forward to seeing you again soon little one!

You wouldn’t have seen Fraggle Rock yet, but it was a popular show when I was little. In it one of the Fraggles gets postcards from his uncle from around the world, and they’re signed ‘Uncle Travelling Matt’, so I’ll sign off now….

Love

Aunty Travelling Penny

Click to view larger image

Letter to Tricky - Twelve months old

Dear Tricky,

Happy Birthday!!! You are one today little guy!!!

You made it and more importantly we made it. Together. Our little family of three.

Yesterday we had a little party for you at your Perth Nanna and Pop's house and you had so much fun, even if you did fall over and bop your head. It was such an exciting day with everyone dressing up as pirates!  You were so exhausted and had a little bit of trouble falling asleep because you were over tired - I sat with you and watched you sleep and got all emotional just staring at you. You're so perfect it hurts.

This month you've been paying a lot more attention to your furry big brother Sprocket - you put your hand through the gate to let him lick your fingers then make woof woof noises (though you do make woof woof noises for every animal, except for your favourite animal, birds, which are 'Bir bir bir'). If he's inside at lunch time he likes to sit underneath your highchair and catch the food you drop, but that's going to be a thing of the past since you have started leaning over and offering him little bits - I love that you're sharing, but please, eat your own lunch.

Speaking of food, you are still munching your way through adult sized portions (and enjoyed your first taste of cake yesterday!) and not surprisingly, you have started signing for food now too! On top of still signing for milk you've started to sometimes sign 'finished', 'drink' and 'where' - I cannot tell you how proud I am!

You seem to have found your funny bone because lately, everything is hilarious to you and you have turned in to quite the giggle pot - especially when Perth Pop tickles your knees! I love listening to your cute little laugh; when you've just woken up and are talking to your toys and it's soft and sleepy, or when you're bouncing up and down on Albany Pop's knee and it's so hearty and infectious.

Every morning you sit at the front window and wave goodbye to your Daddy as he goes to work - it's the cutest thing. Then in the afternoon you sit back down there and wait for him to come home again while you chew on a triangle block. I'm not sure why you like the triangles so much, perhaps three is your favourite number too?

It's been an eventful year, my little man; after two lots of surgery and having no idea if your craniosynostosis would cause developmental delays, we are so amazed to see you reaching all your milestones early, just like your Dad did. You are in every way, shape and form, a little clone; rolling at three weeks, crawling at five months, standing at six months and walking at ten months - you're a super star.

This rollercoaster of a year has dragged on for so long and gone by in the blink of an eye at the same time. At times I wished away the sleepless nights and bags under my eyes, but if given the opportunity to go back and not have you, to slumber peacefully and not require a gallon of concealer daily, I wouldn't take it - I would not swap you for anything in the world.

Thank you, my sweet little cherub, you have brought so much joy to my life and it has been an honour and a privilege to be your Mama. You have made me realize what is important in life, made me a more patient person, and made me love more fiercely that I ever thought possible.

I hope you've enjoyed the ride as much as I have.

Love Mama xxx




 

Letter to Tricky - eleven months

Dear Tricky,

You're walking, baby! At age 10 months and 15 days you took your first proper steps! In the week leading up to it, you took one step a few times, then a few falling steps, so Mama thought it might be getting close, then when we were visiting your Perth Nanna and Pop you let go of my knee and walked to Pop. We all squealed and clapped and you had no idea what you'd done but clapped along with us anyway.

Then when Dad came home, you did it again! We whipped out the video camera and were lucky enough to capture you doing it a few more times and you can now do about 15 in a row if you're really awake!

But then I made the mistake of trying to keep your feet warm in shoes on the one day it rained and you haven't forgiven me and refuse to walk near me but will still happily walk to your Dad. I'm sorry little guy, please forgive me - I won't make you wear them again.

Perth Pop had a big operation and we went to visit him in the hospital - you knew something was up because you didn't stretch out for him to pick you up like you normally do. It wasn't until he was home again and standing up that you wanted to be near him again. He can't pick you up for another month yet and you're already letting us know that you don't approve of this no-pick-up-Pop.

You like to make broombroom noises when you play with your car and woofwoof noises when you see any type of animal. Your favourite thing to do is to walk laps around the lounge room with your block trolley - you're almost running with it! You absolutely love to go under things, even when careening around with the block trolley and I giggle every single time you approach the table, check it out and then duck your head to go under it.

You've been to three first birthday parties already and there are a lot more to go to very soon - including your own!

Just one more month, cheeky-chops, and you'll officially be a toddler.

Love Mama xxx

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Glowless rocked the Aussie Bloggers Conference thanks to

HealthyChart and Baby Goes Retro and Simply Colors

Letter to Tricky - Ten months old

Dear Tricky,

This month you have figured out how to stand all by yourself. I thought it was still a few weeks away only to turn around and find you standing up in the middle of the lounge room. You won't do it when your Dad or I are next to you, only if we're on the other side of the room. This makes it kinda hard to capture on video to show your grandparents!

You will walk when we hold one of your hands but you're not ready to do it by yourself just yet. I can see you thinking about it; you look down, you look at where you want to go and then wriggle your leg... then you get a bit unsteady and sit down. It's won't be so scary for much longer, little one, you'll get there.

For almost a month now you've been responding really well to your Auslan signs. When we sign milk you crawl over at lightening speed to me and start pulling at my top - sometimes you'll do the sign yourself too which makes me so happy! The other sign you recognize, not surprisingly, is food; you shoot off to your highchair and try to climb in, complaining loudly if we're not quick enough to start shoveling the veges in.

You've got the hang of 'Mum' 'Dad' and 'Bub' but last week after a breastfeed I plonked you on your Dad's lap and rushed off before I could hear you say 'Milk milk' to your Dad. He got very excited and shouted out "Tricky just said 'Milk milk' I can't believe it!". He was so proud and I was a little sad I'd missed it. But then that night when we scooped you up out of the bath and handed you your duck to chew on while we dressed you, you said "Duck". Daddy and I looked at each other in shock, two new words in one day! But you haven't said them again since that first time... maybe the duck got your tongue?

This month you also went on a plane! You were an absolute star and batted your lashes at some of the flight crew, making them swoon all over you and bring you toys. Even though you won't remember it, you had a great little holiday and had lots of fun spending so much time with Daddy.

We're still visiting your Perth Pop every day and you have him wrapped around your tiny little finger - if he could, he would give you the world. It makes me so happy to see you enjoying each others' company, laughing and playing, even swimming together.

Another month of discoveries awaits you, my beautiful boy; can't wait to see what they are.

Love Mama xxx

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Glowless rocked the Aussie Bloggers Conference thanks to

HealthyChart and Baby Goes Retro and Simply Colors