Tattoo Roulette

So I got a new tattoo. No big secret, I showed y'all two weeks ago when it happened.

But what you don't know is the slightly strange story behind it.

Tricks and I headed to the West Coast Lowdown, Perth's Kustom Kulture Festival where everything s spelled with a K, much like that Kooky Kardashian Klan.

We're talking hot rods, low rider hop kings (the cars that jump up and down), Miss West Coast Lowdown and a stack of gorgeous pinups, a half pipe for anyone who decided to BYO skateboard, custom builds, and a stack of tattoo artists all under one roof. It was fabulous.

Tricks spent most of the time staring, slack jawed at the highly polished hot rods, no doubt imagining himself behind the wheel.

"Mum, you love tattoos, you should get one." he said.

"You're an enabler" I replied.

We went through Tattoo Alley countless times, the buzz of the machines kept drawing me over.

Bzzzzzz get a tattoo bzzzzz.

Bzzzzz you know bzzzzz you want to bzzzzzzz.

One place, Ink Remedy, was doing a chocolate wheel for their tattoos. There was 31 pieces of numbered flash, and for $100 you could spin the wheel and get whatever it landed on, tattooed on your skin.

Forever.

I thought it was a cool gimmick, but not something I'd be up for.

The flash was beautiful, it was all Sailor Jerry style, which I adore on other people but don't see on myself. The colour scheme just isn't me.

Chatting with the woman in charge, she said she couldn't spin up a tattoo either. I mentioned there was only one design on there that I could have on me, a swallow, because I had always wanted one. I'd even put a fake tattoo swallow on my foot years ago.

"I love the meaning, I love the look. But I dodn't like the colours."

"You could pick your own colours, it doesn't have to be like that" she said.

BZZZZZZ GET A TATTOO BZZZZZZZ!

"You know, if you spin up one you don't like you don't lose your money. You just have to pay full price for the tattoo you want." she said, no doubt sensing how much I was aching to have the needles on my skin again.

BZZZZZ GET A TATTOO BZZZZZZ!

"Ha! Well, I only want number 14. Tricks, spin me up a 14."

He gave the chocolate wheel a heave and I'm silently thinking WTF am I doing playing tattoo roulette?

Tricks, the lady in charge, some others who were standing near by and myself watched the wheel spin.

Ticker, ticker, ticket, tick, tick, tick... tick... tick... ... tick... ... ...tick... .... ... ... ...tick.

14.

There were hoots of laughter and another lady who also wanted to spin stared in amazement.

"I guess I'm getting a tattoo!"

So that's the story of how my 7yo spun up my tattoo design for me.

I'm sure there is a heap of people who will think that is weird, and you know what, I'm one of them.

I had the tattoo done there and then by Darcie, with people walking past to stop and look, and Tricky by my side playing games and taking photos.

It was a new tattoo kind of day! ✊ Had a great time with Tricky at the @westcoastlowdown checking out hotrods, pinups, and of course, tattoos! This is @darciekaportattoo in action on my foot. Check out my stories for lots of pix 😘 #wcld2017

A post shared by G L O W (aka Trae) (@glowless) on Oct 14, 2017 at 12:30am PDT

Everyone has asked how much it hurt because it was on my foot, and to be honest, it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I had heard so many horror stories about foot tattoos so I had built it up in my head to be the most insane pain I'd ever felt, and compared to the terror in my head it was nothing. I did flinch once during the outline... and have a nice little wiggly line to show for it.

I am in love with it.

The colour is very me, and I'm so glad to have my favourite colour on me finally.

And yes, it does match my current hair colour!

In love with this beauty 💙💖 Done by @darciekaportattoo at the @westcoastlowdown today! Was a new experience to be tattooed in Tattoo Alley, having people walking by and stopping to watch. A new experience for Tricks, too, who spun up the design on the chocolate wheel (great job, buddy!), then sat next to me playing games on my phone while I had it done 📱

A post shared by G L O W (aka Trae) (@glowless) on Oct 14, 2017 at 5:57am PDT

The reunion

Estrangement is a strange thing. It's right there, in the middle of the word so you don't miss it, and can't possibly forget.

E-strange-ment. 

I am not privvy to all the circumstances that led to the fracturing of my family, though, over the years, I have heard a few stories. Stories that have been, no doubt, warped by the passage of time in a Chinese Whisper that led to us all missing out on precious time together.

He said. She said. This happened. That happened.

None of it involved me. I didn't even know it was happening; kept in the dark, I was the last to find out anything. All I knew is that my Uncle Buck, as we called him, was no longer at any family events and was only spoken of in hushed tones.

When you have a tiny little family like I do, one person missing is really obvious. Especially someone as funny and larger than life as him.

A year ago I wrote how I would send him a birthday message every year, and the lengths that I had gone to to make contact with him. Creating new email addresses to bypass filters, using contact forms for his office, and even straight out emotional blackmail by including beautiful pictures of us from my wedding day. Anything to trigger a response. Some recognition. Proof of life, if you will. I had decided that last year I wouldn't send him another one because it was too heartbreaking to be met with silence yet again.

Then, this year, his birthday fell just a few short weeks after my Aunty Steffi (his sister) had run in to him (chased him down is more appropriate) and was working hard to reconnect, so I wondered if maybe the lines of communication were starting to open? Perhaps I could try again even though I was opening myself up to pain and disappointment. I decided to send him a birthday message.

I sent it after I knew he would have turned his phone off for the night, crossing my fingers he kept the same habit as he did five years prior. I wanted to send it and just forget, rather than sit by my phone all day, jumping every time it bleeped at me and getting disappointed if it wasn't him.

I woke up the next morning and my plan had worked because I had genuinely forgotten that I had sent it.

Then my phone bleeped.

It was him.

The first contact in over five years.

I was shaking and crying as I read his response over and over and over again. I must have read it fifty times. "Darling Glow, you can see me anytime you wish. So make it soon. I'm not getting any younger. Love, Uncle Buck x"

He called me darling! He said love! He put a kiss! 

A few weeks passed and we arranged to meet. I was sick with anticipation. I had googled him countless times and seen his most recent picture, but what would he look like in the flesh? Would he still sound the same? Would he still make me laugh the way only he could?

I was so afraid that I would be unable to speak and just spend the whole time crying. I played out scenarios in my head, acted them out in front of the mirror, and rehearsed in the bath. Nothing sounded right so I gave up and decided to wing it.

We pulled up in our respective cars at the same time, and greeted with a kiss on the cheek like nothing had happened, right there on the side of the road.

I had so many questions for him.

Where have you been? Why didn't you reply to my emails? My texts? Did you read any of them or just delete them straight away? Do you know I'm a mother now? I've had two children since you last saw me. Did you not like me? Did you not want to see me? Were you wanting to but didn't know how? Do you know it's been FIVE FUCKING YEARS?

But I didn't ask any of them.

Not a single one.

Because the answers, in all honesty, just don't matter. 

The only thing that is important is that we are together now, as a family, moving forward.

We chatted, Uncle Buck, Aunty Steffi, Aunty Penny (lotta aunties there - Penny's my sister), and I, for a couple of hours. Sometimes Bobbin joined in, too. She was a fabulous buffer, as all babies are.

I didn't cry while he was there, much to everyone's amazement including my own, probably because I'd rehearsed this scene for the last four and a half years. But I did cry after he'd gone. A mixture of relief, happiness to see him and a lingering sadness from missing out on five years.

Where it goes to next, I don't know. But I hope one day it can be like it was. For now, I just keep going back to this photo we took the other day and smiling.

So good to have you back, Uncle Buck x

Slightly fuzzy photo because we were moving. It's OK, I look photoshopped :)

The Glow Family Road Trip, now with bonus map

On Sunday, I'm heading out on a 1200km road trip. One thousand, two hundred kilometers.When I spell it out it seems so much longer and all of a sudden I'm wondering what the hell I've gotten myself in to. 1200km of being cooped up in a car, singing endless renditions of Old MacDonald, passing innumerable snacks to the back seat before capitulating and handing over the iPad.

For most of it, there will just be the three of us. One husband. One wife. One child. Unlike our other road trips, this one will be sans farting dog who is staying home with a sitter. Already, it's ten times better than any previous car trip.

Like any family holiday, a bit of planning goes in to it. And if you're Map Guy and have wanted to create maps since you were seven years old and asked your dad what the person who makes the maps is called, a little bit of mapping goes in to it too.

Behold, the Glow Family Road Trip Infographic:

That's not just a squiggle, that's our actual route. And those icons? Exactly what we'll be doing or seeing at each stop. The man has too much time on his hands is a genius.

I'm looking forward to visiting the biggest free entry playground in Australia, a winery, an Alpaca farm, a winery, a lavender and berry farm, a winery, The Cidery, a winery, a "hands-on-feed-the-animals" farm, a winery, the home of the best steak sandwich in country WA and visiting a few wineries. 

I'm looking forward to it being just us with nothing to interrupt our time together (1,2,3, nawww). And, though it's hard to believe, I'm actually looking forward to the severely restricted mobile internet coverage in regional WA.

So if you don't hear from me for a week, don't worry. If you don't hear from me in two weeks, print out this map and give it to the police - we'll be somewhere along it.

I've got some lovely bloggers guest posting for me while I'm away, so show them some lovin' and if you're feeling particularly generous share their posts - because I won't be able to!

Do you do giant road trips? Are there wineries involved?

Run DMC Vs Tricky

Oh look, it's a three minute vlog where I say about half a dozen words... that should be, er, interesting.

OH MA GAWD Party Tricks

There comes a point at your work/family/casual birthday/engagement/Christmas party that everyone (well everyone around me) has had a few drinks and it comes time to compare party tricks.

Matt can touch his tongue to his nose, Steve can burp the alphabet, Kate can put on her lipstick with her boobs... or was that Molly Ringwald? Anyway, everyone has some sort of trick and they range from pathetic to OH MA GAWD how can you do that?!

My party tricks also range from the pathetic to the OH MA GAWD but sadly I did them in the wrong order in this video so rather than building to an awesome crescendo the following clip is rather sad and anticlimactic... much like most birthday/engagement/Christmas parties. Enjoy.

P.S. No, I wasn't drinking when I did this (that's the hair vlog, pay attention)
P.P.S. Yes, I realize it does appear that I'm drunk, but I'm not, I'm just naturally bubbly/stupid/extroverted
P.P.P.S. Best still frame EVER!

Highway Etiquette

When you upload a Vlog to YouTube it automatically chooses a still shot to be your thumbnail image.

Without fail mine is always a sneeze face. It's the height of attractiveness, the sneeze face.

You can go in and change the thumbnail, and being the completely vain person that I am, I swapped it for the least unattractive one there was. But it takes 36 hours for it to register apparently. So, for the next 36 hours... achoooo!





Do you wave to other drivers on the highway? Is it a fully fledged wave, a finger wave or snob nod?