Homemade Holiday Fashion

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Now I could sit here and tell you to wear the latest designer outfit on Christmas day. I could use words like ‘on trend’ and ‘arm party’ or whatever. But I am not on trend as my elastic waist banded pants will attest, and the closest thing to a party my arm gets is the Hokey Pokey. Because that’s what it’s all about.

So instead, I’m going to show you some homemade fashion using some inexpensive shoes we grabbed at BIG W this week. This would be a great activity for pre-schoolers through to tweens and some teens (depending if they’ve reached the grunty stage yet). It will work well for a one on one session with just your child, but if you gather some friends together and have a crafternoon party you can have a fashion parade at the end.

Tricky and I set ourselves up in the carport for a crafternoon with our stash of goodies from BIG W and got to work personalizing our footwear. We started with the big guns – the canvas shoes! A pair of these, already decorated, would make a sweet gift (gardening shoes for Nanna perhaps?) but how cool would it be to give a plain pair and a packet of stampers? It’s a great gift activity for less than $15.

As you can see we went to town with the stampers and the glitter glue then Tricks decided he’d like to think outside the square. And so it came to be that one shoe has a balloon and the other a button, stuck right on top. Ahhhh pre-schoolers. Love ‘em.

Things to use on your canvas shoes:

• Glitter glue
• Stamps
• Markers
• Puff paint
• Pens

 Then we whipped out the Wavezone thongs, which at less than $3.50 are a steal!

As you can see from the top image, I grabbed a handful of those impossible to blow up balloons, cut them in half and tied them on in a simple double knot. I was stoked with how they turned out and think it is actually really effective. I would totally rock these pool side for a bit of fun!

Tricks decided to make Monsters with his thongs and proceeded to glue googly eyes on… until he noticed the pom poms and changed tack. While he was doing that I glued some buttons on to another pair.

He was so proud of his canvas shoes and thongs and he proudly showed them off to Aunty Penny who had been jiggling Bobbin on her lap for most of the time.

“Wow, Tricky! Those shoes look fantastic! Where are you going to wear them?”

To which he replied “On my feet.”

Doesn’t get better than that.

Other ideas for your thongs:

• Tie on strips of scrap fabric – use an old shirt that doesn’t fit anymore.
• Wind wool around the straps
• Braid over some friendship bands
• Tie a scarf around the straps then around your ankles
• Glue on sparkly gems
• Use glitter pens to draw designs

So I'll be wearing my fab canvas shoes on Christmas Day for sure. I'm not sure what else I'll be wearing but I'm thinking maybe something from the exclusive Peter Morrissey range. I took some change room selfies to help me figure it out:

To win $100 tell me your top Christmas fashion tip?

Feeding and Fashion

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I do not profess to be a style icon. I know next to nothing about fashion. But I do know that the options for mamas who breastfeed can be limited so when I saw how gorgeous the clothes from Milk and Love were, I knew I had to have some.

If you follow WMG on Facebook or Instagram then you might have seen me trying out a few breastfeeding dresses from their online maternity and breastfeeding store recently (or even pre-Bobbin when I started wearing this awesome waterfall cardi that has hidden buttons to turn it into a breastfeeding wrap).

I've been reviewing a few dresses (and a couple of tops) because I am getting sick of just wearing shorts and tshirts every single day. With summer almost here, and the weather well and truly hot in Perth already, I wanted to put a few summer styles to the test.

The first one I tried out was the Zahra Applique Dress. You would never guess it was a breastfeeding dress and every single time I've worn it I've had so many compliments on it. I absolutely loved that I could wear it with a pair of nude heels, a bit of a nice hair do and a fascinator to make it in to a smart dress but that it works just as well with sandals and a sunhat to be completely casual.

It allows great breast access which is particularly important for us larger bossomed gals or newbie breastfeeders. Because it really doesn't look like a breastfeeding dress and you can't tell how it works just from the front, I put on a white bra and took a photo to show you how it opens (bottom right)!

I also tried out the Getaway Day Dress which comes in both a full length maxi dress and a knee length version. I opted for the shorter one just to show off my lily white legs and blind passers by. What I loved about it was how the breastfeeding clips are concealed by a small piece of fabric so it doesn't scream breastfeeding dress. They did make it a little trickier to refasten the strap after feeding at first, but I got used to it pretty quickly. This one comes with a built in shelf bra that offered light support and depending on where I was going (read: how many people I was likely to run in to) would determine whether I wore a bra with it for extra support. It is fully lined, but I found out the hard way that you still shouldn't wear neon blue undies with it. See? Not a fashionista!

Left: Getaway Day Dress. Right: Frills and Grace Maxi Dress.

I took the Frills and Grace Maxi Dress for a quick spin and loved the frills and the, err, grace. This one was easy to feed with because it unbuttons at the breast but still has another layer underneath to be a bit more discreet. I'm not a fan of the tops and dresses that skip this part - It just feels like so much more skin is exposed when they don't have that teeny tiny little camisole layer.

All three of the dresses are nice and roomy over the tummy without looking like tents and can be worn as maternity dresses or, in my case, cover-the-paunch dresses.

I also road tested the Myo Waist Shaper Compression Top because of said paunch. Whilst I did love the slimming look the compression band offered, I think it would be better suited to women with a smaller bust and not my ginormous knockers (I range between an E and an F depending on how long between feeds). The right size for around my tummy was just a tad too small for the boobs and the right size in the boobs meant no compression for the tum. But this is something I've always struggled with as a large chested gal.

A smaller bust size would still have great breast access through the arms, but it was a little restrictive for me. Which is a shame because I wanted to have those extra muffins without the muffin top. When Bobbin is taking some solids and I deflate a little, it will be perfect.

Milk and Love also sell the groovy necklace I'm wearing in some of these photos, the 7 Pebble Necklace in Egyptian Teal. It's one of those food grade silicone teething necklaces that mean your kid can gob on it without hurting their chompers. Because of the materials you do need to run them under the tap to stop them feeling 'furry', but if your kid is actually chewing it you'd be cleaning it more often anyway. Well, at least I hope you would be.

On a side note that shows my maturity level, I found it completely hilarious when I looked down at the largest pebble resting on my boobs and read the brand name... Nibbly Bits.

I bloody love how maternity and breastfeeding clothes are becoming more and more fashionable. Not a potato sack in sight! If you're thinking that buying online isn't the go because you can't try it on, well you don't have to worry because the lovely Corryn at Milk and Love actually lets you try on and return the ones that don't fit, which is why I bought the compression top in two different sizes.

If you feel like popping over to say hi, you can find Milk and Love on Facebook and Twitter. Tell her Glow sent you. And if you feel like buying something, chuck in GLOWING10 for 10% off your first order!

Onesie: Woesie or Winsie?

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It is no secret that I am staunchly anti-onesie.

In fact earlier this month after seeing no less than six different people in my feed in twenty minutes bang on about onesies and cat ears I may have snapped.

And if one more person in my feed extols the virtues of onesies or cat ears for adults I'm pretty sure I'll burst a blood vessel.
— Where's My Glow? (@Glowless) August 4, 2013

I would go so far as to propose laws that prohibit adults from wearing clothes designed for infants. It is entirely too creepy for me in the same way as an adult rocking up to a party wearing only a nappy, just because some people on Twitter said they were “in”, would.

Every second person tells me they are so comfortable, that I'm missing out. They say that about CROCS too, people! I will not be fooled!

Now, I’m no fashionista, and I most certainly have committed many a fashion crime in my day (hello fluoro overalls over hypercolour t-shirt circa 1992). I’ve also been known to completely eat my own words before – I went from being against wearing skinny jeans for fear I’d look like a whale to being a devotee because OMG MY ANKLES LOOK AMAZING. Did I really just say that? Kill me.

So is there something that could get me to wear a onesie? Maybe for charity? Or to win a prize? I once sang a retail store jingle in the middle of a crowded movie theatre to win a vacuum cleaner, so it is pretty obvious I’m willing to stoop to a somewhat low level to win something cool.

Winning $250 to spend at IGA would totally count as something cool. I would buy $250 of Brie and Camembert cheese and have it on standby. Now I don’t know if I could bring myself to wear a onesie but I could go and stick my head through a cardboard cutout that made it look like I was wearing one which is what the folk at IGA are asking. So technically no fashion crime would occur. HUZZAH for loopholes! I'm totally gonna do it.

Perth Peeps, head down to your local IGA, find the onesie and have your photo taken with it and upload it to either Facebook, Instagram or Twitter using #IGAonesie. If you wear a onesie while you do it, you may create an infinite loop, so BE CAREFUL! You may also make me roll my eyes... or if you look awesome, I may just eat my own words. Again. Skinny jean onesie, anyone?

Are you for or against the onesie?

I met Liz Davenport and all I got was this signed copy of her book to giveaway

Georgia from Parental Parody called me the other day: "Yo, so what are you doing tomorrow night? Wanna come to Liz Davenport's book launch? She emailed me an invite. SHE emailed ME!"

I think she may have fainted at that point because the line went quiet.

There was just one problem with being Georgia's plus size plus one: WHAT THE FUCK DO I WEAR TO A DESIGNER'S BOOK LAUNCH DURING THE PERTH FASHION FESTIVAL!?!?"

A little hyperventilating was in order. And some wine.

I decided on the whole black is slimming thing knowing I'd be surrounded by models, then slapped myself upside the head because who the hell wears all black to the launch of a book called "Liz: A life of colour"? The woman is known for her colourful creations and I'm sure doing my Morticia Addams impersonation would have been met with pitiful stares from the fashion-elite in the room.

I ended up wearing a purple dress and my sister-in-law's rockin' blingy purple heels. And gigantic Bridget Jones iron underwear too, but that goes without saying.

I had no idea what to expect. I've never been to anything fashion related before as I'm more likely to be found going through the bargain rack at Tarrrrzjay. I imagined the canapes going uneaten, the champagne flowing and a whole stack of models that upon turning sideways would fall through a crack in the floor. But I couldn't have been more wrong. Except for the champers bit, thankfully.

Nevertheless, I didn't let Georgia leave my side. Doesn't she look so happy about that?

I still felt terribly out of place though... until Liz started talking and I realized she was an amazing, talented, funny and down to earth Perth chick with a passion for the environment and Indigenous culture.

The woman is awesome. She's won so many awards, including Australia's top designer, has had international success, has an Order of Australia, has run for parliament, raised three gorgeous kids and advocates for REAL sizes.

“The ‘average’ woman may spend her earlier years as a proportional size 10 or 12, but may well put on weight at the hips and waist but not at the shoulders as she matures. Too often the jacket fits, but not the skirt or pants

Despite what most designers appear to do, once you hit size 14 you simply cannot just add a few more centimetres here and there and expect the look to work. It won’t. There are an awful lot of women who have been short changed in the design department.”

A selection of her designs from the last three decades were on show, including the Australian flag cape worn by Miss Australia at the Miss World parade in 1979. I had to use every ounce of willpower not to tackle the model to the ground and steal it off her. And OMG the colour!

I made Georgia introduce me afterwards by refusing to stop poking her in the ribs until she submitted. It may have been my liquid bravery, but when she seemed pleased that we were blogging it I said:

"You know what would make it a better blog post, Liz?" (could I be any ruder?)

"A photo?"

"A PHOTO!"

So we cuddled together and took a couple of selfies and I went all fan-girl knowing I'd just snuggled an Australian icon.

And then her lovely marketing manager sent me a signed copy of her book to giveaway! 

If you'd like to win it, all you have to do is ENTER HERE through the Facebook app. You can enter daily if you're keen!

You can buy "Liz: A life of colour" here for $55.00

What do you think of Liz's re-proportioned and realistic sizing of designer fashion? Do you think more designers should follow suit?

10 Reasons Why I Don't Like Your Outfit

I'm donning the sexy Cranky Pants for another rant. This time, I'm gonna aim my venom at fashion.

I'll preface this by saying in the last 15 years I have gone from a size 10 up to a size 18, and now I'm pretty much a 14 (unless you count the three things I own that are a 12 which are probably just mislabeled) and in that time I have committed many fashion sins. Such as *ahem* this. But it just wouldn't be a rant if there wasn't an air of hypocrisy now would there?

10 Reasons Why I Don't Like Your Outfit

1. Your shorts are so short your bum cheeks are not covered. Now I really cannot stress this enough, if I can see your cheeks, then you are not actually wearing pants, you're wearing denim underwear. Also if your pockets are longer than your shorts it kinda looks like you have a piece of toilet paper stuck to you... not the best look.

2. You have DD breasts and are obviously wearing a C cup bra which has effectively cut your norks in half giving the impression that you now have four. The multiple boob look should only be attempted by that one girl in Total Recall - you know the one.

3. You look amazing in something I tried on and looked like a Christmas Ham in. OK, I admit, this one is just based in pure, unadulterated jealousy.

4. I can see your labia. Girls, you may have amazing legs from here to tomorrow and love showing them off but if your skirt could be mistaken for a belt then I think you need to put something else on. What do you do if you need to pick something up off the floor? No really, I have no idea how you can possibly do it without chucking a Brittney Spears.

5. You have a dark bra on under a light shirt. You are not Carrie Bradshaw! For the record I thought she looked crap when she did it too.

6. Leggings as pants. Enough said.

7. You dress for the size you want to be not the size you actually are. In other words, muffin tops, back fat and bulges or shapeless tents. There are amazing clothes out there for people of all shapes and sizes, though sadly sometimes they are hard to find (ask Nikki at Styling You, she'll help you no matter what your size).

8. I can see three inches of bum crack and/or underwear. Do you have a plumbers license? No? Then pull your god damn pants up!

9. You are covered in the insignia of a team you've never actually seen play, from a country you've never visited and a city you could barely place on a map.

10. You are wearing clothes that could easily lead to any number of passers by mistaking you for an exotic dancer... and you're only fifteen. Now you might think that my recent birthday means I've ticked over in to the fuddy duddy category but you'd be wrong - I've been in that group for a long time already,. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

What makes you think an outfit is horrible?