Ridiculously Easy Fudge Christmas Trees

Last Christmas I came up with ridiculously easy fudge Christmas trees and my god I was so proud of myself. They went within minutes at all the parties I took them to because they're just so darn cute and, well, fudgey. I put a quick instructional together for Facebook and it was shared hundreds and hundreds of times, making my head swell to enormous proportions. This year I thought I should put it on an actual post so people could pin it rather than trawl through their feed from last year.

The base of this recipe is the two ingredient fudge that is my go-to recipe in "oh shit I forgot to make something" scenarios. Add some green food colouring, some lollies for decorations and voila, Christmas trees.

Tricky and I made these on the weekend as part of our advent calendar activities and he was so chuffed. He broke up the chocolate, poured in the condensed milk and sprinkled over the lollies. I tell ya, lettings kids decorate is a fabulous way to see just how much of a perfectionist you are! Let it go, they'll taste the same whether all the decorations are bunched up or not.

You'll need:

• One 395g can of condensed milk
• Two blocks of white chocolate (between 180-200g per block is fine*)
• Green food colouring
• Lollies to decorate - I used mini m&ms and silver cashous

Thermomix Method:

• Line a lamington tray (you MUST do this first)
• Place chocolate in to bowl and mix for five minutes on speed 2 at 50C
• After five minutes, check to see if it is melted, scrape down the sides and add another minute if necessary
• Add a few drops of green food colouring and mix for four seconds on speed 4
• Pour in the condensed milk (see note below) and mix for six seconds on speed 5
• Tip the green slime in to the tray and spread evenly, working quickly
• Sprinkle over your decorations and gently push them so they embed slightly
• Chill in the fridge until firm - allow an hour or so if it is a hot day
• Remove the fudge from the tray and cut it in half length ways
• Cut triangles from each half - I usually get about seven or eight

Standard Method:

• Line a lamington tray (you MUST do this first)
• Place chocolate in to a double boiler or the microwave and melt
• When completely melted, add a few drops of green food colouring and stir to combine
• Pour in the condensed milk (see note below) and mix thoroughly - it will start to thicken instantly, so you'll need to use your muscles
• Tip the green slime in to the tray and spread evenly, working quickly
• Sprinkle over your decorations and gently push them so they embed slightly
• Chill in the fridge until firm - allow an hour or so if it is a hot day
• Remove the fudge from the tray and cut it in half length ways
• Cut triangles from each half - I usually get about seven or eight

Keep these chilled until you are ready to serve them. On a hot day they can get very melty if left on the table so be careful! I find they are less likely to melt if you do use the full 400g of chocolate.

*If you use 180g blocks don't scrape the condensed milk from the can, just pour until it mostly stops - you'll be left with the perfect amount to make a few condensed milk sandwiches and the fudge won't melt so easily!

Three ingredient Choc Mint Truffles

High off the success of the amazing three ingredient choc orange truffles/balls, I have been tinkering.

I thought I'd try a new flavour and also an easier way to decorate them - because it's the decorating that turns them from balls to truffles, ya know!

So here it is, complete with craft Santa that Bobbin and MapGuy made together.

Pin me, I'm delicious

You'll need:
2x packets of Choc Ripple biscuits
250g of Cream Cheese, cubed
Candy Canes to taste
Chocolate for decorating (optional)

I say to taste because some are big, some are small, some are particularly minty and some are just meh. So you'll have to experiment a little yourself. I used three full sized candy canes and it was perfect for me - just enough mint to cut through the chocolate, but not so much that it feels like you're eating toothpaste.

To make:
Blitz candy canes in a food processor until they're smashed up (Thermomix speed 5 for 10 seconds)
Add in the bikkies and process again until it looks like ground up coffee (Thermomix speed 5 for 10 seconds)
Place the cream cheese in and blitz again (Thermomix speed 5 for 10 seconds) until a crumbly dough forms
Take spoonfuls of the mixture, squeeze it in your hands to compact it, roll it in a ball and place on a baking sheet
When you've done a whole tray put it in the fridge to firm them up before decorating

L to R: uncoated with white choc stripes, coated with smashed candy canes, coated with white choc stripes

I love to dip these in chocolate, but it can be a little time consuming and fiddly, so this time I experimented with just putting white chocolate stripes on them and I think it looks just as nice as the chocolate coated ones (see above on the left) - they just look a tad smaller.

Remember they have cream cheese in them so it is best to keep them in the fridge until a few minutes before serving, particularly if it is a stinking hot day (it was 38C here today!).

These are morish. You've been warned. 

Five Minute Fudge

Just when you didn't think fudge could get any easier than taking five minutes to make, I'm going to tell you it is two ingredient fudge. Commence drooling now.

This fudge comes firmly under the "I was being really healthy and then all of a sudden OMG GIVE ME FUDGE I'M PREGNANT" category. It is in no way healthy and should not be consumed in a single sitting (as I would quite like to do right now) lest you lapse in to a diabetic coma.

I don't eat too much sugar these days so any more than one piece of this gives me a major headache. But when you're the size of a house, ready to pop and so over being pregnant, well, part of me thinks that headache is worth it. I know, a health advocate I will never be.

Ingredients:

• 1 x 395g can of condensed milk
• 2 x blocks of chocolate (between 180-200g per block is fine)
• Anything you want to add to it to make it pretty or yummy

Method:

• Grease and line a lamington tray - you absolutely have to do this first
• Break up the chocolate and melt it using a double boiler - or a microwave if you just can't be bothered
• Add the condensed milk and stir quickly until well combined - it will be thick and start setting immediately so use a strong spoon 
• If you're adding any extras, do it now, lickety split
• Quickly pour the fudge in to your tray and spread it out evenly - if you've been quick enough the clock should be ticking over to five minutes right now
• Chuck it in the fridge for about two hours
• Do something to take your mind off the delicious melty fudge that is teasing you
• When chilled, cut in to squares and try not to eat it all

I used white chocolate this time but it works just as well with milk or dark. Mini M&Ms make awesome extras but so do any small candy type things and nuts, especially macadamias. If you're feeling fancy reserve a small bit of the fudge, tint it another colour and swirl it over the top - if you want supermum status then tint some white fudge green and add some peppermint essence and drizzle it over milk/dark chocolate fudge. Mmmmmmmm choc minty fabulousness!

RSPCA Cupcake Day

Alternatively titled: Showing off my cupcake toppers because I'm kinda proud of them and really, if I can't show off on my own blog where can I?

Map Guy's work does RSPCA Cupcake Day. I will admit I'd never heard of it before which is weird because, hello, a whole day devoted to CUPCAKES and PUPPIES!

They asked for volunteers to make cupcakes to be sold and being the show off that I am wanting to get in some fondant practice, I put my hand up.

I'm loving my cake decorating class and all the tips and tricks I'm picking up but sadly, I'm also picking up a few kilos along the way, too. The great thing about making these babies is since they're for a fundraiser I can't eat any of them. Unfortunately the down side to this is that I CAN'T EAT ANY OF THEM. 

I'm so in love with them and really happy with how they worked out. I can't figure out which is my favourite. I keep swinging between the dog and the little Shaun the Sheep look-a-like. 

After spending so long making two dozen little faces, I kinda dropped the ball with the icing because I really couldn't be bothered any more. Let's just say the green slapped on buttercream is grass and totally meant to look like that. Let us never speak of this again and instead focus on all the cute.

And this is the bit where I tell you they weren't actually hard to make, just fiddly, particularly with a toddler who wanted to point out the animals and bring over farmyard story books every two minutes. A bit of fondant, a couple of colours, a few cutters and three thousand renditions of Old MacDonald and voila! 

Would you eat all the cute? 

Don't forget! The Omrah Wine giveaway closes this afternoon, click here and here to enter.

50 Shades of Teddies {NSFW}

"Make a square cake," she said.

"Have teddies on it," she said.

"Choose your own theme, be original, and make sure everything on it is entirely edible."

I wondered what I could possibly create. It's my beginner's class but be buggered if I was going to create a picnic scene like most of the other students. I had to do something a little bit different. Something funny. Or stupid.

The looks from the other students when I took this in to class were priceless. Behold, the entirely edible 50 Shades of Teddies:

What is a cake without a ball gag, gas mask, handcuffs, whips, restraints, discarded underwear and a threesome?

Would you serve this at a naughty party? Could you eat it? 

Don't forget the Omrah Wine giveaway

How to make a fire engine birthday cake in 10 easy steps

So your kid is about to have a birthday and you want to impress him/her with a fire engine birthday cake but aren't quite sure how to do it? This post... um... well, it won't really be that helpful. Sorry about that. 

Step 1: Trawl the internet looking for inspiration. Get distracted by clips on YouTube of $10,000 wedding cakes and cakes the shape of Sydney Opera House

Step 2: Make a little fondant fireman that is so cute you hyperventilate at the thought of anyone eating him. Name him Freddy and update him on the progress of the cake as you go. Don't tell anyone you do this

Step 3: Make a fire hydrant that looks like the ones you see in movies. When anyone tells you that fire hydrants in Australia don't look like that, give them a death stare and tell them artistic license means you can create whatever damn fire hydrant you want

Step 4: Bake the cake, make the ganache. Cover the former with the latter and try really hard not to lick the knife. Fail miserably. 

Step 5: Create little pressure gauges, wheels, and number plates. Use gel colour, thinned down with vodka and watch everyone's eyes go wide when they come in and see you sitting there with a bottle of vodka and a shot glass on the bench

Step 6: Take a swig of the vodka, might as well, everyone thinks you already have

Step 7: Cover the cake with a shed load of bright red fondant and use edible glue to stick all the pieces on

Step 8: Take a bajillion photos and put them all over Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to show off - buy a new hat to disguise how much your head has swollen

Step 9: Melt in to a giant mushy puddle as you watch your kid's face light up when he sees it and feel like the best mum in the world. Immediately forget how many times the bloody rungs fell off the ladder and the handle came off the fire bucket

Step 10: Cry a little bit when it's time to cut the cake and all your hard work is completely destroyed. Get over it when you taste the cake and realize it tastes just as good as it looks. Start planning for next year because it has to be bigger and better

The best damn banana bread you'll ever taste

So is it banana bread or banana cake? It's a little trickier than the cake or death question.

It's most definitely not like any bread I've ever tried. But it's not quite cake either.

The important thing is that it tastes so damn good. The bad thing is that it's completely moorish and you will inhale it within an hour a day if you're not careful.

This has been adapted from about four others that I tried and didn't like - after some experimenting I've come up with this gorgeous recipe with just the right amount of spice (not too much) and a perfect amount of sweetness!

The Best Damn Banana Bread Ever

Ingredients

• 125g margarine
• 1 1/2 cups caster sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 over ripe bananas (When the choice is between bin and cake, cake always wins!)
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups plain flour
• 1 tsp bi carb
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon
• 1/16 tsp allspice
• 1/2 cup milk

My 20 year old mixer still going strong

Method

• Cream margarine and sugar
• Add in eggs, vanilla and the mushed up bananas
• Sift in all the dry ingredients
• Stir gently, gradually adding the milk until all combined - if you spill the milk, make sure to make a lame joke to your partner about not crying
• Bake at 180C for 55-60 minutes (do the skewer trick to make sure)

The result is a super moist, dense cake. Or bread. Whatever.

Blueberry and macadamia strudels

You know when you throw a bunch of stuff in to a pot and it turns out amazeballs and you wish you'd measured out all the ingredients? Yeah that.

In my continuing efforts to increase my waist line be a Domestic Goddess, I decided to make strudels. I'm not entirely sure why, perhaps because The Sound of Music had been on the day before and I was going around singing about my favourite things;

"Cream coloured ponies and crisp apple blueberry strudels, door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles".

So what follows is how I think my strudels were made.

Blueberry and Macadamia Strudels

Ingredients (makes 4 really huge strudels)

• 4 sheets of filo pastry
• 500g blueberries
• 100g berries that you've mushed the crap out of (I used a bag of mixed berries)
• Juice of 1/2 a lemon
• 1 1/2 cups of caster sugar
• 4 tablespoons of cornflower
• 50g macadamia nuts chopped finely (save time, use a food processor)
• 10g melted butter
• 50g melted chocolate

Method

• Cut the filo pastry in half, set aside covered with a damp teatowel so that it doesn't dry out
• Combine the whole berries and the mushed berries in a saucepan with the sugar and lemon juice and stir over a medium heat for five minutes until all the berries are soft but still retaining their shape
• Turn down the heat and add the cornflower and stir until the sauce thickens
• Divide the mixture evenly over half of the filo pastry pieces, leaving a margin around the edges. Brush the margin with melted butter and place a half sheet of filo over the top to create a long blueberry pocket. Press the sides down with your fingers and/or a fork
• Brush the entire top surface with a little melted butter and scatter the chopped macadamias over the top
• Bake in the oven at 175C for 20-25 minutes or until puffy and golden (careful the nuts don't burn!)
• Allow to cool for a few minutes then drizzle with melted chocolate (I had milk chocolate but white chocolate would have been heaven!) and if you like serve with a dusting of icing sugar (slightly wanky) or a scoop of vanilla icecream

So so so delicious that I heated one up for breakfast the next morning!

Chunky Chocolate Ripple Cheesecake

I'm rather new to this whole baking thing so I, err, may or may not have screwed up a recipe for chocolate snowballs the other night.

Now there are a few things I'm basing this on:

1. The first lot of dough was white... I'd forgotten to put in cocoa. Then I realized I also had a cup of sugar sitting there waiting to go in too. Oops.

2. I put the oven on fan forced instead of normal. Double oops.

3. The snowballs didn't hold their shape ended up like snowflats and by the next morning they were too crunchy (but tasted awesome). Triple oops.

What do you do when you have a batch of snowballs cookies that are a akin to rock? Smash 'em up and make a cheesecake base! Huzzah! So, here's my fabulous recipe that I created, based on a plain cheesecake recipe (I am getting good at this making recipes up thing):

Chunky Chocolate Ripple Cheesecake 

Alternatively titled "Oh-crap-I-ruined-the-biscuits Cheesecake"

Ingredients:

• A batch of failed snowballs or a packet of biscuits, whatever floats your boat, about 175g
• 75g of butter
• 85g of dark chocolate (I used Lindt because it was on special)
• 250g of cream cheese
• 250g of ricotta
• 2/3 cup castor sugar
• 250mL thickened cream

Method:   
Base:

• Smash up 150g of your failed snowballs/biccies until they look like breadcrumbs 
• Add melted butter and combine
• Press in to a greased and lined 18cm pan, cover and chill it while you make the rest

Snowflat base

 Filling:

• Melt your chocolate (microwave, double boiler, I'm not fussy) and allow to cool to room temperature
• Beat cream cheese, ricotta and sugar using an electric mixer and make sure to sing Michael Jackson's 'Beat It' while you do - it makes it turn out better
• Add the thickened cream and beat for five minutes
• Smash up the remaining 25g of your snowflats so that they're chunky and carefully fold through
• Pour the mixture in to the prepared base and smooth it out
  
  

  

  Cookie pieces mixed in
• Drizzle most of the melted and cooled chocolate over the top and mix it around, being careful not to touch the bottom so you get a top layer of chocolate flavoured cheesecake (I think the soft centre of the Lindt chocolate really helped this part because it was really runny)
• Once the top layer is chocolatey, drizzle a little bit more on and swirl it to create your ripple
• Freeze for two hours

See those layers? And the cookie chunks? AWESOME! 

Serve it with berries if you want to be all arty-farty or just inhale it like I did.

*insert rapturous applause*

Whaddya reckon? Is there a food blogger in me?